[littlegirllost]

A couple of months ago, I met a man from Egypt online. He's 28 and says he is a virgin and I am the first woman he has talked to online....etc. We talk every night, Egypt is 7 hours ahead of my time so we talk when it is 11:00 pm here and 6:00 am there...sometimes earlier. He says that he stays out all night with his friends. He works when it is during the day here so we can't talk then. Anyway, we get along great we talk about everything and we laugh all the time...and two weeks ago, he asked me to marry him. He wants me to fill out a form of support for him to be able to come to the US...it basically states that I will be totally responsible for him financially. Originally he wanted me to apply for a fiancee visa for him, but I told him I couldn't afford it. He tells me all the time how much he loves me...but my friends say that once he gets to the US, he'll leave me and go off on his own. I want to believe that he really loves me and wants to be with me. He even had me talk to one of his friends on the phone and his friend says that he talks about me all the time and says how much he loves me. He is away on business now for 10 days and can't have any contact with me...so it gives me time to think and get my head together. I would appreciate any feedback you could give me. Could my friends be wrong about him? I really don't want to believe I could be that naive. I just want to be loved like everyone else.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

"He stays out with his friends every night" but works during the day? Then calls you at 6am or earlier...For a fair period of time, i imagine, and this has been going on for two months.

Well, firstly, you can't go out with your friends every night, get home, call you, then go to work for 2 months without feeling absolutely buggered and therefore, unable to call, need sleep, or unable to go out, too tired and unable to work absolutely exhausted. Our body can't handle that.....

Secondly, he is finding ways in which to Marry you, get over here, after 8 weeks of "talking" only... Sure you can definately fall for someone over a phone but when you meet different story. Some people can talk over a computer, telephone superbly but in real life, can't do it and nothing in common.

What's his favourite colour? What hobbies does he have? Is his photo real? Is he really a Virgin? You can't afford the Fiancee visa, so plan (B) now you are totally responsible for him financially.

A real man would say, NO i can't do that to you.

A real man would say, is there any way we can save over the next few months and you come and visit me for a week, so we can spend time together to be sure.

And, i know you deserve love want love but love, he may not be what you want when he gets here anyway and your stuck with him financially, whilst you both get on with your lives, it's not like that part is going to go away you know... Your stuck.

Whether he is for real or not is not even a question... You can't take such a risk for a guy you've never met, or being able to establish whether or not he is who he says he is.

There is SO much of this going on, it's not funny.

Vulnerable ladies, and guys, that will move the earth for LOVE, whilst the trickster is doing his tricks.

I personally think the 10 days away, is him getting some sleep, even away he could call hey....

I would definately throw it all back at him.

Well, if you love me, and want to be with me, save and come for a week holiday, or send me the money i'll save as well, and i'll come there for a week and let's meet and see how we get on first.

See what his reaction is... Off course it will be i can't afford it, we don't earn enough so fib, well i will get a Visa Card (credit) and give me two months, extra savings and i'll come over there for a week... We need to meet and make sure.

See what that reaction is.... If it's ah, well, um, no, um because....

CW

[littlegirllost]

Thanks for your advice. I actually do know his favorite colors and hobbies....but I understand what you are saying. We don't really know each other cuz we haven't met yet. I am afraid to fill out the paper to make me financially responsible for him....I really don't want to do it, and I am afraid that when I tell him that he will be gone. He has made me feel really special these last couple of months.

I have a lot of thinking to do....I appreciate your advice.

[commonsense]

A couple of months ago, I met a man from Egypt online. He's 28 and says he is a virgin and I am the first woman he has talked to online....etc. We talk every night, Egypt is 7 hours ahead of my time so we talk when it is 11:00 pm here and 6:00 am there...sometimes earlier. He says that he stays out all night with his friends. He works when it is during the day here so we can't talk then. Anyway, we get along great we talk about everything and we laugh all the time...and two weeks ago, he asked me to marry him. He wants me to fill out a form of support for him to be able to come to the US...it basically states that I will be totally responsible for him financially. Originally he wanted me to apply for a fiancee visa for him, but I told him I couldn't afford it. He tells me all the time how much he loves me...but my friends say that once he gets to the US, he'll leave me and go off on his own. I want to believe that he really loves me and wants to be with me. He even had me talk to one of his friends on the phone and his friend says that he talks about me all the time and says how much he loves me. He is away on business now for 10 days and can't have any contact with me...so it gives me time to think and get my head together. I would appreciate any feedback you could give me. Could my friends be wrong about him? I really don't want to believe I could be that naive. I just want to be loved like everyone else.

You need to end this conversation. Find someone closer to home where you can properly evaluate them. Don't make decisions based on "feelings" when it comes to your well-being, safety and your heart. Anyone can tell you things you want to hear to get what they want. He may have bad motives and you don't really know this guy. Just what he's typing.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks for your advice. I actually do know his favorite colors and hobbies....but I understand what you are saying. We don't really know each other cuz we haven't met yet. I am afraid to fill out the paper to make me financially responsible for him....I really don't want to do it, and I am afraid that when I tell him that he will be gone. He has made me feel really special these last couple of months.

I have a lot of thinking to do....I appreciate your advice.

Lets say your right, and he is "gone".. But you've offered to go over there remember, even if you can't have no money say it anyway, you need to see what he says. But if he is "gone" it's because he's moving onto the next one until he gets a yes, and a Visa... Simple really, because if he wanted to marry you, "over a phone romance", then he would agree with your terms, any terms really.

[damd]

I think your heart is telling you one thing and your mind is telling you another. You have very good reasons to be sceptical about this situation. There is a reason why our hearts are in our chest and our minds are in our heads. I think you should use your head.

[Guest]

...but my friends say that once he gets to the US, he'll leave me and go off on his own.

Oh hun,

I am afraid your friends are right. I am in a position to see a lot of this kind of stuff happen, and have yet to see one ever work out.

we all want to be loved, and we all deserve to be loved.

You don't deserve to be used like this!

[littlegirllost]

Oh hun,

I am afraid your friends are right. I am in a position to see a lot of this kind of stuff happen, and have yet to see one ever work out.

we all want to be loved, and we all deserve to be loved.

You don't deserve to be used like this!

Thank you. I know you are right. I will tell him it's over. He might not even care now because he probably has to stay in Egypt to take care of his mother now that his father has died. But I still want to be the one to end it and have the "last word".

[Guest]

dont waiver if he changes his mind...

[littlegirllost]

dont waiver if he changes his mind...

I sent him a message telling him it's over and he didn't even respond. I see things much more clearly now....thank you so much for your help.