[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Chandler,

I realise this is not the correct way to communicate with you but I have no idea how to reach you otherwise.

I would like to start a tread in the category of "relationships" about following subject:
Marriage/relationship counselling did this ever resolve the problem in the long run?
My experience being that it does solve minor problems for a little while, I doubt very much whether it ever saves the marriage/relationship in the long run.

I have no problem if it is easier for you to set it up yourself

Thanks

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Chandler,

I realise this is not the correct way to communicate with you but I have no idea how to reach you otherwise.

I would like to start a tread in the category of "relationships" about following subject:
Marriage/relationship counselling did this ever resolve the problem in the long run?
My experience being that it does solve minor problems for a little while, I doubt very much whether it ever saves the marriage/relationship in the long run.

I have no problem if it is easier for you to set it up yourself

Thanks

Too hard to again explain how to start a thread, but when you post enough i can PM you Miskito and advise you how to do it.

So yes, started it for you as you requested.

Does it solve the problems? It didn't solve mine... He went with two before me but refused with a "wife" 7 years....?

Tell your story and i will answer from there.

CW

[Muskitos]

Too hard to again explain how to start a thread, but when you post enough i can PM you Miskito and advise you how to do it.

So yes, started it for you as you requested.

Does it solve the problems? It didn't solve mine... He went with two before me but refused with a "wife" 7 years....?

Tell your story and i will answer from there.

CW

Hi Chandler,

Thanks for posting this thread.

I tried counselling myself and I have seen friends and family go through it and yes it does help a little bit for a little while, but what I observed is that it is often one partner that initiates the counselling, the other is sort of (un)willingly following. Very early in the process, both partners are faced with the fact that they both have issues witch they need to address and there is where it goes wrong, at least in my experience.
Some people just don’t want to face/accept they have problems and as long as they don’t want to do that, they want fix them either.
Anyway, I do not know any couple in my surroundings that stayed together after therapy, but… I am still looking.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well I agree with you.

There is one person whom seems to truly "want" to try this form of therapy in order to help the situation but one will always be "reserved" in what i have experienced...

One want's and the other goes along for the sake of it, so it's impossible for it to work!

WITCH seeing as your French is which... A Witch is well, won't go there...

You bring up a good point. How do you resolve issues if one believes and wants, and the other is weak, controlling, doesn't believe, thinks that they are right your wrong and just "goes with the flow" It's almost like Yeah sure I'll do it, but bahhhh I don't believe?

Good point Muskitos,

CW

[Muskitos]

Well I agree with you.

There is one person whom seems to truly "want" to try this form of therapy in order to help the situation but one will always be "reserved" in what i have experienced...

One want's and the other goes along for the sake of it, so it's impossible for it to work!

WITCH seeing as your French is which... A Witch is well, won't go there...

You bring up a good point. How do you resolve issues if one believes and wants, and the other is weak, controlling, doesn't believe, thinks that they are right your wrong and just "goes with the flow" It's almost like Yeah sure I'll do it, but bahhhh I don't believe?

Good point Muskitos,

CW

Thx for the correction, how about : I wish I was a witch, which is absolute nonsense! LOL

[Joy]

In order for therapy to work for a couple long term they both must want to change their bad habits that are contributing to the relationships problems. Honesty is a must.

[flauwekul]

I wonder how much can it help.. how about after finding out he cheatted on you?
How to trust again?
How to know if it won't work again....
How to manage the pain and anger..
How to get to forgive?
How to move on if it is so clear it won't work again..??

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I wonder how much can it help.. how about after finding out he cheatted on you?
How to trust again?
How to know if it won't work again....
How to manage the pain and anger..
How to get to forgive?
How to move on if it is so clear it won't work again..??

Sounds to me like you should start a thread flauwekul

I've read a couple of your replies now and seems that you may have gone through some hard times in a relationship.

There are a few things up there that I don't think a councellor can help totally....

CW

[flauwekul]

Me neither..
And yes, it's been hard the last year... I just hadn't really noticed how much.
But it is going to end.
And I'll post about it.

Greetings

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Me neither..
And yes, it's been hard the last year... I just hadn't really noticed how much.
But it is going to end.
And I'll post about it.

Greetings

Greetings back Welcome to the Forum flauwekul.

I came here 6 months after seperating so I understand it can be a great "in-sight" to your soul reading some of these theads.

We look forward to reading and seeing what we can offer you as our opinons, keep smiling.

Muskitos? You really should be telling us more about your reasons as well, for posting this thread, me thinks.