[dgirl07]

So my boyfriend and I were together for 15 months. And in that 15 months we had our share of problems. I posted a few threads talking about the problems we had. In February we broke up and got back together and things were good until I think the end of May. In May he started acting really distant. He was spending a lot of time with his friends and I was being put second. It went on like this for a few weeks and I finally said if he didn't start treating me the way I deserved to be treated I would find someone who would.

Things got better after that or so I thought. For the 4th of July we went out of town and he really showed me the best weekend ever. He was so sweet and loving and I thought things were really back to normal. Three days later I was going through his phone...I found text messages from him to other girls that were extremely inappropriate and I broke him with him on the spot...and he didn't try and stop me. He didn't say he was sorry or anything it just ended. I didn't try and convince him to try and work things out...I didn't even tell him I missed him or did any grovelling....I did the crying to myself but I never let him see how hurt I really was.

A couple of weeks went by and I started realizing how much happier I was without him...instead of trying to please him all the time I was finally starting to do things to make myself happy. I thought I had moved on. I was going out with my friends and partying and even seeing other guys...yet anytime I was drunk and the end of the night started to come around I would find myself texting him and calling him...telling him how much I missed him and how I wanted things to be different.

And I don't understand why I do it. We've hung out as friends a couple of times since the break up and I realize how different we are and just not right for each other. We want totally different things out of life. But I'm still finding myself missing him. I don't know what to do. I want to completely move on and find the person who is right for me but how do I do that when I'm stuck on the past?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well that's just it.

Your not at all stuck in the past, rather you get lonley and miss "companionship" "sexual relations" so when you are drinking, emotions always come into play and we always look for that "comfort" in the face of the "devil" i mean, the past guy we were with...

You know you don't love him that way, rather love him as a person and can "hang out"..

STOP DRINKING haha and you'll be fine.

Lonliness causes people to "stay" in wrong relationships sometimes, comfort, without realising that there is way something better out there for them in only they stopped "settling"...

CW

[lovemyself1]

wow

reading this thread was like looking in the mirror for me. i felt like i was reading something i wrote! i think CW is right...you just miss that companionship. hang in there...when you meet the next great guy you will forget all about whats-his-name.

[Muskitos]

Hi dgirl07,

You sound like you did the right thing! Bravo to you!

The problem with us humans is that over time we start forgetting the bad days and only remember the good ones.

But you seam to have your feet on the ground and one day you will meet a guy who will be all over you, I can guarantee you that.

There is nothing wrong with missing what has been in the past and ok; alcohol tends to make us all weaker but hey… you are doing great, no worries there little lady!

[owlhunter]

Hey, I've been there and "done that."

The advice in three posts above is excellent. The end of a relationship that was important to you is like a death of a friend. You must go through a "mounring process."

Google "mourning process" and read what there is to say. there are several phases you have to go through. some people go through them quickly, some it takes a long time.

Analyse where you are and how you are going to get through the next phase.

Owl.