[melanie]

things aint been gud for a while. i want my partner of 13 years to move out but he refuses to budge. one excuse after another. i dontl ove him any more, sad iknow. we have a 10 year old together and he uses him as weapon constantly cos he knows he is my world after 2 miscarridges. i just want peace an closure from this relasionship and dont know how to get witout hurting my son. have even took to sleeping alone !

[sourpuss]

Can you move out?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

things aint been gud for a while. i want my partner of 13 years to move out but he refuses to budge. one excuse after another. i dontl ove him any more, sad iknow. we have a 10 year old together and he uses him as weapon constantly cos he knows he is my world after 2 miscarridges. i just want peace an closure from this relasionship and dont know how to get witout hurting my son. have even took to sleeping alone !

Good question from Sourpuss can you?

There is a solution for everything... Your mind when upset and body feels broken usually only comes up with the problem...

You speak the words but they are not listened to and all you see is the same words, over and over, instead of thinking "outside the square" as Sourpuss did.

Obviously, he is either "holding on" and can not take the rejection, tormenting you knowing that he doesn't have to, or loves also his son and doesn't want to move away.

You both have to be adults about the situation and simply understand that it's over....

Now, how do we go about this rationally and ensuring that our Son is happy and included in this decision.

CW

[melanie]

family& relastionshps

dont want to its my house and my son the 10yr old would be in bits. am tryngto play it cool but its so hard.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Change the locks on the front door, put his clothes in front of them...

It's your house and if you feel he may be violent then call the police when you are expecting him to return.

This off course only being, if you can't rationalise as per my previous post, as we posted at the same time.

CW

[melanie]

he aint bothered wether r son is happy or not i reckon he just looking out for himself. he reckons he loves me (bull) just here for him. if it wasnt for the 10 yr old i wouldnt stay here.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

he aint bothered wether r son is happy or not i reckon he just looking out for himself. he reckons he loves me (bull) just here for him. if it wasnt for the 10 yr old i wouldnt stay here.

Your feeling down and possibly angry, definately heart broken over all of this you just don't want him around full stop and your sharing rather than gathering information as to how to get out of it which is okay, that's where your at.

But, understand something do you think that your Son doesn't not see, sense, feel his Mother moping around the house, down and out, not happy?

Do you think that your Son doesn't see you two argueing? Or not being together, not laughing?

Do you think he would be much better of without all of that and be with one parent who laughs with him, hugs him, is free, happy?

I think so.

It's your house if he doesn't care at all for "his" son and your not happy with him, then it's your house and you CAN make the decisions.

I am not happy. It shows in front of our Son, it is not good for him to continually see this, it will effect him as he grows to man hood and he will not trust realtionships, I do not love you anymore, I am happy for us to share our Son for the sake of our Son but this is my house and unless you move out, I'll have no alternative but to get your things and help you.. It's not working and it's time to move forward.

CW