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  • sourpuss
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2006
    • 3581

    Friend needs relationship advice! Help!

    A young guy I know posted this question on another (99% male) forum but I thought I'd see what y'alls take was on it. I'm sure he'll get much better advice here. If you have any insight, help him out, he's a good kid.
    Thanks in advance!

    So my girlfriend of years, and mother of my kid moved here to be closer to me in July, well it didn't work out, so she moved back home last Saturday which is about an hour and a half away. Now she tells me that lately she hasn't felt like a couple, like she doesn't have a boyfriend because we hardly do couple things together, and never spend any alone tiem on dates or anything so she says its like we're really good friends.

    tonight, she says that she'd like for us to consider "seperating" as an option for a bit, sort everything out and get back together later. So I reply "does that mean I shouldnt expect to see you dating anyone else lol?" And this is her ing reply.

    "I very much doubt I'd date anyone, but I think I want the option there. It doesn't mean I like anyone or am going to forget about you, so don't you even think that. I think since we're not together all the time and don't see eachother often at all, we just need to be with people closer to home. I do admit, I am lonely. I want and need that human contact from a boyfriend. That doesn't just mean sex, either. I need to hang out and see him all the time. I need to get over my jealousy and my protectiveness issues. I think by seeing other people I might be able to do that. I can come back to you.."cured". I don't think I'm working it totally right. If you don't get anything I'm trying to explain, ask me okay? I don't want it to seem like I want or need to date other people. I just think it might help some of my issues with our relationship."

    that doesn't make ANY sense.. First she says she doubts very much she'd date anyone and then she says "I just think it might help some of my issues with our relationship"

    How contradicting..

    please someone help me figure this out, its depressing the out of me. :-(
  • sourpuss
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2006
    • 3581

    Oh, I should add that all the guys on the forum are saying that she's moved on and trying to let him down easy. I don't think it's that at all, I think she's feeling like he should be putting more into the relationship and it's a test to see if he'll fight to keep her.

    Comment

    • CHANDLERS WISH
      • Mar 2008
      • 22440

      How do you have a "relationship", with the Mother of you child, and live in separate homes, as well as one and a half hours away?

      You don't.

      I would envisage that your male friend, isn't putting in too much of an effort, driving to see her, suprising her with little gestures.

      I would also hassed at a guess that she is in-deed very lonely. She feels like a single mum.

      I think because she firstly said that she didn't "think so", and that she keeps "in-sinuating" that she wants to get back with him regardless, that she is in love with him but deserves and wants more and is trying to find a way to have that.

      The eventuality is, if he doesn't see this as a cry for help, she will date eventually and some guy local with woo her and he will lose, and just be the father of her child.

      The only thing puzzling me though is why it "didn't work out" and why she left and went back I gather, to her home...

      A girlfriend and a child, is commitment so if he was still spending way too much time, out with the boys and neglecting a lot, therefore arguments were happening, she may be feeling that she deserves more, full stop, and yes, I think this is his one and only last chance.

      But, i am speculating on the reason she moved back, I can't see it being work, as she has a child.
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment

      • sourpuss
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2006
        • 3581

        Thanks CW, I agree. Anyone else have any thoughts?

        Comment

        • CHANDLERS WISH
          • Mar 2008
          • 22440

          bringing it back up, we can't be right?

          haha
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment

          • sourpuss
            Veteran Member
            • Dec 2006
            • 3581

            Haha, I know. Where are all the girls out there who have told their guys this very thing?

            Comment

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