[jenzjet]

So I have been wih him on and off for 5 years. I left him after 3 years and decided to come back a year later. We just lived together for our daughter as friends in seperate rooms for a while but just recently decided to give it another try. Here is the problem, he will not sleep in bed with me! He sleeps on the couch he says hes afraid he will get too comfortable and not be able to get up for work sohe sleeps on the couch. I have tried to sleep on the couch with him ony to get an elbow in the head and end up in bed again. He still wants to have sex I just cannot get him to sleep with me in the bed. He also likes to fal asleeep to the TV so thats another excuse. I feel so alone sleeping in my bed by myself while he sleeps on the couch, he has said he will start sleeping with me but hasnt and I just dont feel like this isa real relationship if we are not sleeping in the same bed! Am I overreacting here? Any advice or suggestions. Please dont tell me to put a TV in the bedroom I wont be able to sleep and dont feel its a place for a TV.

[torn2pieces]

So I have been wih him on and off for 5 years. I left him after 3 years and decided to come back a year later. We just lived together for our daughter as friends in seperate rooms for a while but just recently decided to give it another try. Here is the problem, he will not sleep in bed with me! He sleeps on the couch he says hes afraid he will get too comfortable and not be able to get up for work sohe sleeps on the couch. I have tried to sleep on the couch with him ony to get an elbow in the head and end up in bed again. He still wants to have sex I just cannot get him to sleep with me in the bed. He also likes to fal asleeep to the TV so thats another excuse. I feel so alone sleeping in my bed by myself while he sleeps on the couch, he has said he will start sleeping with me but hasnt and I just dont feel like this isa real relationship if we are not sleeping in the same bed! Am I overreacting here? Any advice or suggestions. Please dont tell me to put a TV in the bedroom I wont be able to sleep and dont feel its a place for a TV.

I don't have any advice but to be hard. My boyfriend does this often and I used to wake up 3-4 times a night missing him. Every now and then I would wake him up pull him to bed and that would cause an attitude from him.

I just hardened up and stopped caring that he didn't sleep with me. I am not okay with it but I just think at least he is at home...It's not good to settle even tho I did.

[jenzjet]

I dont know what to do

He did finally sleep last night in bed with me but complained this morning when he did wake up 30 minutes after his alarm went off. He always sets his clock early so I dont know why he was so upset. I am ready to give up but thisis an issue for me. I dont want to spend the rest of my life with someone who wont even sleep in the same bed with me. I just imagine all the older couples who have seperate beds and think it would be so sad and lonely to have two seperate bedrooms.

[WildChild]

Odd. Did you share a bed before? Could he be concerned about something like snoring? Where does your daughter sleep? Personally sleeping on the couch would be an invite to back trouble. How big is the bed?

The sleeping through the alarm is easy to solve, just put it where he has to get up to turn it off. Sounds like he may be a bit ambivalent about the whole thing and what he doesn't want to get too comfortable about isn't the getting up in the morning. You two have been on again, off again, have you considered some couples counseling? You have a child together, one way or the other you'll have to deal with each other might as well learn how to do it well.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think that he is frightened to "connect again"...

Wildchild brings up a good point regarding , did he sleep in the bed with you before?

It's strange that he was happy to be there as "friends" for his daughter,then said he would give it a go, but can't "connect"...

What led you both to deside to try again?

Was there some romance there that happened?

CW

[jenzjet]

he has always like the couch better

We used to actually drag our bed out into the living room on the floor and sleep there because he likes to watch TV while he falls asleep. He hasn't said anything about snoring. He has never had back problems. He seriously is just afraid to sleep in and loves the TV. WE decided to give it another go around after he kept tellling me over and over how much he loved me and why couldnt I see that we had a great thing, why are we fighting it, he wants to be with me, etc. So after a lot of thinking and trying to forgive some things that had happened I decided to try again. We are doing great otherwise. I have thought about it but when I bring it up he just agrees but we never do anything about it however this is his busiest month at work so I am giving it time to die down before i approach the subject again.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, if this is his pattern, and like all addictions they are hard to break, you may have to compromise and buy three alarm clocks, lol, seriously and move the TV into your bedroom.

If you love this man and that's the only issue? Then your lucky, truly if he says he loves you and shows that love apart from not sleeping in the bed, which he never did before, you say you moved the bed to the Lounge, then compromise, at least you will be sleeping next to him and he will not wake up late.

Hard call, I know but I doubt you can change this bad habit, without continual fighting and continually being lonely.

CW