[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your never going to know that answer as to "what he will miss more" but it doesn't matter really what that is, as you state, as we know, we can fall in love and we can fall out of love with someone, it's that simple.

I would imagine, that having to find his way totally is going to be a downer on him, not just financially but also new surroundings, no woman next to him.. The total package.

Maybe he may realise that he is "the man" and should be out there making a life for himself for once in his life?

CW

[Searching_82]

Alright regulars here is another question for you. My parents were upset when I told them about what was going on (upset that I was going through it). They want us to do marriage counceling so that we can atleast say we tried everything. (I honestly think that they want us to do marriage counceling so when the push back from the rest of the family comes they can say 'hey..she tried' instead of 'hey they were married 3 months and then that was it') I really have no desire to do it, but I want to give my parents that piece of mind in knowing that I tried..that we tried I guess. So here is my thought...I dont want counceling to work through the marriage because..I am so much happier being on my own and living for myself. I can't imagine going back into the relationship, I know I made the right choice.(and knowing that is the most amazing feeling ever. It might be better than love) In order to satisfy all of those involved...do you think it would be okay if I told him I wanted a divorce, however..I want us to get through it as a team and really understand each other at the end of it..and I think that we should do some counceling together while the divorce is going through? Would that work? What are your thoughts?

[WildChild]

A good counselor is not going to try to get you to stay where you don't want to be, they will help you move forward. By all means go ahead and give it a shot. It can help both of you determine what you want, how to get there and help you get some insight in to yourselves so you dn't repeat the same pattern.

[Searching_82]

Wonderful point WildChild. Question though: how do I bring that up to him? I mean there has to be a nicer way than "Don't think this is going to fix the marriage cuz thats not what I'm out to do" you know?

[Guest]

If both of you agree to do it to help the split, then I'd say try it. But dont waste your time and his if you arent interested. it'll only give him (and you) false hope.

[Searching_82]

No1-Well exactly my point. I dont want it to try and 'get back together' because thats not happening. I just want it to help smooth the transition from being married to friends...which is already in the process with the separation. I just don't know how to tell him that you know? Its hard to find the right words.