[mollyrose85]

I guess I came on hear looking for something that says exactly this, that I am too being controlling and probably one of those girls that make other girls look bad...
Same situation is going on for me, except my fiance goes hunting with his friends all day at least once a week (which is usually on Sat or Sun) and I am at home that whole day taking care of our 3 month old son, AND trying to get the housework done after company at our house Thurs, Fri, AND Sat.
I have no logic reason I am upset, but I can't get it into his head that we are a family and I need all day with just him once in a while! Us THREE now. We are constantly entertaining, having people for dinner, and I feel like he needs to get away with "just the guys" and I feel wrong for wanting to spend all day doing something with HIM. Notto include the two of us sitting at home watching TV. Not the 4 hrs. after work everyday of the week while I make dinner and clean up aftr, give my son a bath, put him to be, etc. For three to for once go out and do something together.
For those of you who I am confusing...please help me see why I feel so jealous when he has his all day excursions with his friends whileI sit home and get stuff done... I know I should be feeling this way, so I need advice as to what to do. Remember I can't just pack me and my son up for an all day thing to get my life back. I have a very young baby and it's more draining to leave home with out any help...ANY ADVICE TO HELP ME GIVE MY FIANCE BACK HIS INDEPENDANCE

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think it's good to entertain and have other's in your life as well as the "fun" in it, and that a man should have his "hobbie" which he obviously does and therefore, spends one day a week doing so.

I believe however, it is give and take and you may even have "post- natal depression" the resonsibilities of looking after a child and not having any "me time"..

I believe also that as it is give and take, that your husband NEEDS to understand that you need a little "me" time of your own, get your fingernails done, something that you used to do before the baby as well as a "date" per week, to keep the romance side of a relationship in play, instead of feeling like a wife and mother only as well as an entertainer.

You need to explain to him how you feel, not tell him what you need, but how you feel.

"I want to date you once a week and then jump your bones" should do the trick don't you think?"

I moved your post to a new thread by the way to gain more answers for you.


CW

[WildChild]

Why do you have to do all this stuff? Who invites this company? Make some new plans, he invites, he takes care of the cooking and clean up. Have him get a nice grill and let him cook on that. One reason he may skip is home isn't fun, how could it be, you are busy getting ready for or cleaning up after all the time and probably doing it under a cloud of resentment.

What do you want to do? What would be fun? Why do you have to wait for him? Call up some gfs and get out of the house! What do you like to do? Go do it. Get a backpack for the baby and start getting out more. Have you told him what you want? Not nagged, not whined, not waiting for him to read your mind, see that you are POd or unhappy? Men are not mind readers, they far from it! You have to tell them, sometimes you have to tell them over and over. But once it sinks into his mind that there is something you want that he can do to win your pleasure and approval, chances are he will do it. When does something for give him your real approval! Swallow the, "it's about time" and just say thanks and mean it.

Get a copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, it's a good investment.

Why are you so concerned about his needs? He can handle those, worry about yours. Men quit giving when they feel it's getting uneven, they don't understand that women will give to the point of exhaustion and then just get POd. Back off, take care of Mama, get a reason to smile! You don't need to give him back his independence, you need to claim your pleasure!