[elsa_niloo]

most of you know must know me from my other thread, " I need help..."

My husband who is 34 years old is not interested in sex alot and we are newly weds. I constantly hear, "I'm busy, I get tired and sweaty", " you want too much", "you are not normal" , "we are having a busy life and i have to go to work tomarrow" and etc.

I am 24 years old, he is my first guy ever and we have been married for 4 months, total of 1.5 year together.

tonight i left him, thanx to all your advice. My breakthrough was when i grabbed to kiss him last night and he pushed me away, telling me, " you're messing up my clothes". He says that people that drink and smoke and specailly guys over 30 cant get it up.

he satisfies me in every other way, except for sex. tonight i finally broke outa my shell and said either go see a doctor or i am outa here. He said ..............i'll see a doctor over your dead body". and that he is not sick or crazy and i should be the one seeing a doctor and bs like that.

i am tired. i am standing up for myself and i am friggin tired. I dont need a house, cars, money, toys, holding hands and etc. these are just excuses. i am a very beautiful girl and see other men paying attention to me all the time. I'm afraid if i had stayed, i would have cheated on him.

i am tired of being rejected time after time. You HEAR me? i am tired and i need support.

Tell me i'm doing the right thing? support me please?
whats the point of living with a husband if he is only your best friend but not your lover? i can find friendship in a girl then.

I LEFT him. Wasn't easy but i did. I am going to go back to school, get another science degree, live my life and if he doesnt want to have sex with his wife often, i'm sure i can find someone who will be interested.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I always say that words shared on paper, is worth a million dollars, you express, get it off your chest, seek clarification with yourself and through other's nothing wrong with that.

Did you do the right thing? Do you feel that you did? Do you feel that person you just described of yourself, a tough of relief? Then there is your answer.

Denial " I am a Man" I will not seek sex therapy...

I can only say to you that living in a loveless relationship some people do do, but they have a real bond and deep admiration for that person and generally many, years, 15 - 20 - 25..

I think if it was a wrong choice and you don't have the above, then you don't have it.

Best wishes and thank you for sharing with us.

CW

[WildChild]

Elsa that sounds so difficult and familiar. Been through something similar. If you were dating I'd think he's committment phobic but you are married and presumably he committed to that voluntarily. Hard to say what is going on with him, was he like this before you married? Why did he want to get married?
Good thing you don't have kids, sounds like you made a mistake, better to correct it early and not make both of you miserable for years first. This will either jolt him into awareness of the need to make changes or he'll just repeat that you have the problem. And you do, it's him!
Go back to school, graduate, live a life you can enjoy.

[silvertae]

Sounds like you did the right thing. It would be one thing if he were willing to listen to your feelings on the matter and seek help or at least have a real conversation with you about it. But it sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings at all, and that sounds like a very unhealthy relationship.

[rcoreyus]

You did the right thing for you and for him. Far better than a lifetime of unhappiness for both of you. Now you and he can both find people who are more compatible.

[Searching_82]

You def. did the right thing. You have to think to yourself (as I did) marriage is supposed to be forever. You and I are the same age....married the same amount of time...could you deal with that forever? Could you go on living and sacrificing your own life goals/happiness in order to just make someone else happy by living theres? If you answer no then 1. You're with the wrong person(obviously) and 2. Maybe, like me, you may not be mature enough to handle a marriage and everything it entails yet(I am in NO WAY trying to put you down here...its just a thought. Like I said we're the same age and thats how I am thinking..not sure ify ou were thinking the same or not). I gues what I mean by that comment is maybe, like me, you haven't established YOU yet. Who YOU are. What YOU love. What YOU want to accomplish in YOUR life before you share it with someone else.

Love is tough. Everyone always wants to be in love and it can be the most awesome feeling you have ever felt...but then it can turn into the worst hurt as well. Giving you a fair warning...despite it being the right decision get ready for some emotions, and if you want to talk feel free to private message me as I am in a similar situation. Best of luck to you and keep your head up!! There is light at the end of this tunnel!!