[torn2pieces]

Thanks in advance for any prior advice and advice today.

Tonight is it. It's almost a make or break things. B (Brandon) and I can't see eye to eye on these issues so we are going to get advice, new tools to deal with it and/or help.

He is a great man that I do not want to loose over my insecurities. My insecurities are strong and that majorly plays into this. Thursday he found out that I deleted friends from his facebook account, that didn't go over well since it is intruding his privacy. He knew that I knew his password and didn't mind but he was upset that I went in his account and deleted whoever I wanted to delete. So, new issue. Besides that we put this issue to the side and enjoyed each other this weekend, we have a great relationship besides this issue.

Anyway, I want to take full advantage of this session this evening.

WHAT I REALLY WANT ADVICE ON:

I trust him and believe that he is not sleeping with these women (read "Accepting His Female Friends) I also do not like some of his ways of communicating with them. Because he is a great man and treats me and the kids great, hard worker and we have a fabulous time together, we work as a family well together, we figure out money (even in broke times) together. At this point I am ready to throw up my flag. I want to stop getting so upset about it or upset at all. I am willing to do this for the sake of a wonderful relationship. I worry that I can't because when the issues do come up if those feelings come to me, I can't just ignore them (I can try). But I will know they are there and he will too, cause he knows me well enough. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME SURRENDERING?
IF I DO, HOW DO I DO IT WITHOUT COMING OFF WEAK? IF I SURRENDER ANY SUGGESTIONS ON DEALING WITH IT WHEN THE ISSUE COMES UP?

Thanks

[Gippy11]

It should be a two way street. Maybe you should just apoligize for what you did and explain how you feel. Then the right thing for him to do would be to cease these conversations with these other woman. I have learned (maybe you could explain it to him) that there is really no room for privacy in a marriage. Sure maybe there is some personal time or maybe little secrets (like a private money stash, or where you and the boys went on Sat. night), but as far as private secret conversations with other women they really shouldn't exsist. As far as I am concered, nothing good can come out of them.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It should be a two way street why should you surrender ?

You are saying that deleting women off facebook was wrong ( he knew you had his password ) but it was wrong to delete them so you have a jealous streak that you need to control.

HOWEVER:- He was on a dating sight or something that you secretly got into and he sent you a "wink" tell me more about yourself, seriously? No wonder you looked on facebook.

It all gets out of hand.

It's a two way street, he needs to fess up about this and quit it , it's not funny flirting whilst he is married for you, simple and therefore you can gain more trust and stop spying and doing things out of jealousy which you wouldn't usually do.

EQUAL - will solve the problems not one way - SURRENDER

CW