[sourpuss]

I don't think there is an easy and painless way to hear that your wife is divorcing you. I think you just need to be open and honest with him and let time heal his wounds.

Just set him down and say that you aren't in love, you made a mistake and you don't want to drag it out any longer. He's going to be hurt. But he'll move on.

[elsa_niloo]

lets not jump to conclusions.
My marriage had the same problem for a while but despite whatever everyone said i decided to stay and work it out with him.
instead of leaving do give him a chance and talk to him. If he really loves you he is willing to go to counselling and get some help and look at your marriage from your point of view.
Unless you talk to him and tell him what is wrong you can't blame him for being the way he is.

I know you left already but if you really think that your marriage is worth saving, ( even a little) give him a chance and you might be suprised. and if you think that he wont change no matter what then you sure did the right thing rather than staying and being miserable for a life time.

best of luck to you

[thecowsarefrozen]

hello again!

thank you guys for all of your replys! i do feel guilty. but thats natural i guess. what is bothering me is i asked for space and he is in a sense respecting it. but on his breaks at work, which are every 2 hours, he calls me and acts kinda like nothing happened. kinda like he is avoiding the situation. then he will tell me he misses me and loves me and asks me if i miss him and stuff like that. i dont know what to tell him... i wish he wouldn't call right now. i dont know that i am not coming back but i dont know that i am either. he asks me when im coming home casually and all i can tell him is i don't know. i told him " you know all i do is think of other people and what they want/need. i rarely think of myself. so i need to be selfish for a while and take into consideration my feelings. and figure out why i feel the way i do and make a decision." i have a long road ahead of me. my spring classes start on monday and i am going to be totally destracted. it will give me something to do to take my mind off it for a while.this is the hardest thing i have ever done. a part of me wants to go back so i don't feel like this ever again, but it wont be the same. i feel like he will only do what i want him to and not what he wants. i don't want that at all. i want both of us to be able to be happy. i don't want to make him my personal robot. and whatever will happen as far as changes he will make, will only be temporary. he always goes back to the selfish mommas boy. he is a really good guy and that is why it is so hard. he has been spoiled his whole life and pretty much had 3 mothers. i was raised on a farm in oklahoma. we killed our food and grew it. a trip to wal mart was like a night out on the town for my family hehe. i have never experienced the luxury of having what he did so i dont grasp it. i don't understand it. and maybe that is a lot of thr problem. he is also catholic ( not to insult catholics i just dont know anything about catholocism) but i don't feel like i have to do a 180 and send my kids to catholic school and cristening and baptism and all of that. he was going to force me to do it! i don't agree with that in one bit. i should not have a religion forced on me! but anyways i am just rambeling i am going to go do some more thinking.. thank you guys again for your support and replys!