[crzyredhead21]

So I've been asked so many times lately why I broke up with ex. The bottom line was that he wasn't "The One". To be honest ladies... I'm not really sure I believe in The One anymore. I think I'm a little disillusioned with the whole long-term love thing.

So I guess onto my question...... how did you know that your husband was The One??? Or is he? Does anyoen have any light to shed on this.. because frankly I'm feeling like true love doesnt exist.. at least past the honeymoon stage. Any insight woul dbe much appreciated!

[crzyredhead21]

LOL! Well.. I guess there's my answer!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

LOL! Well.. I guess there's my answer!

__________________


LOL... your sense of humor is worth bottling young lady....

Make yourself a check list this time of the things you really want out of a relationship and test them out, instead of "settling" from the honey moon stage and thinking it's all going to be great... haha.

CW

[Guest]

crzy.
as i am not female your question still applies. so my answer is simple.

ask yourself a few questions such as:
do you think of him often?
does he make you smile?
when you are away from each other, how often do you think of him?
when you are away from each other, can you waite to see him again?
as CW suggested, does he fill all on your list?
what is it that you love or like most of a relationship and does he do these things?

but a more serious question is: and you will have to think hard on this one,
what is love to you? are you in love with the guy or the thought of being in love?

in a post i had replied to awhile back, it was about love. i said i was in love 2 times in my life. i had found it or it had found me. i just knew it. i didnt even think about it as nothing mattered to me other than her. what made me happy was her being happy.
if she smiled when i was around i knew i was doing right. if she laughed at me being silly, saying or acting dumb, i knew she loved me. it didnt matter if we went out or stayed home but as long as our time together made us both happy. it didnt matter if we had sex or saw each other for 1 minute of the day. her make up didnt have to put on for me as i found her to be beautiful as natural as she was. i didnt care if she burped, farted, or ate like a pig, or if she was properly mannered and ate like she was eating dinner with the president. only thing that mattered to me was her being happy. waking up in the morning and seeing that she text me or left a message just to say, "enjoy your day" or "i'm thinking of you".
ahhhhhhhhhhh crzy, you know these things and yours might be different from another. you will know when your time comes for you to know.
your tummy will get all weird on you, you'll be in lalla land longer than you think. and test this out by not going with him everywhere and seeing how much you can or cant stand it being away from him, see how long you think of him and how you feel.

crzy, there is right or wrong answer here. only you will know because someone might like him and others wont, its up to you if you love him or like him alot. and only you will know that with whoever comes into your life. as noone can tell another how or what to feel for anyone. each loves differently than the next.

but when you do find it, or have it.............. please dont let it go, because not many find true love and the love that lasts for a life time. it is hard to find, and easy to lose.

[Searching_82]

I totally feel the same way! Which is sad because I used to really believe in love but now I think its only a chemical/commerical thing...people can fall in love and out of love so easily now it seems...I just don't know anymore whats for real when it comes to love. What I DO know is that my ex def. wasn't "the one".

[marmar86]

Hmm...Love is definitely real. When you feel it, you just know. Sure love can be commercialized, or chemical, but thats not real love. Its lust. Like the honeymoon thing...When you know who you want to spend the rest of your life with, it doesnt matter if/when the honeymoon stage ends. You know that stage cant last forever, but you want to know what comes after it. You know? Like JWB said...You all of a sudden want to put their happiness first. You want to know everything about them and being without them drives you crazy. You can be with that person for a week,5 months, or 10 years, and you still feel that tummy turning, comfortably, irresistable LOVE. If you dont think someone is the one, sometimes its best to step away for a while, and reconsider. Sometimes you realize you dont want to live without them, other times you know you made the right decision to leave. You only get a few great loves in life. And you will definitely know when they come because even if they leave, you will always love them in some way or another. You will always remember them fondly, and they will always have a piece of your heart

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So how you feeling, noted you've been vary sparse yet you were here full on...

What's happened that has made you feel distant?

CW

[WildChild]

Thought I had it a few times, actually I did, they didn't. It takes a lot to get me out of it but a determined man can twist a woman around in such emotional agony for so long, that they'll eventually wring it out of you.

I'm with you Redhead, I just don't know right now. You give it everything you've got and in the end you are drained and where are you? What did it get you, a lot of 'lessons'? I know it's possible, I know people who have it - although they paid their dues to get there. I've paid but it was into the wrong till. So at least for a while it's going to be all about my kids and rebuilding our lives. Any man who thinks he wants to be part of my life at this point is not going to find the easy acceptance I've given all my life - he's going to have convince me! Big time, I'm feeling very skeptical right now. (I know me the ridiculously eternal optimist- I'll get over it - and probably get hurt all over again but this one will take a while to get over)

[cassie66]

very difficult to answer. i was married 16 yrs then i divorced. i thought he was the one, but i was wrong. im the kind of person who falls in love easily. or i thought it was love. ive recently married for the 2nd time and i hope this time its for keeps