[elsa_niloo]

you know guys, i dont even know why i am staying here anyways. I guess i am just afraid of confronting and accepting the fact that this doesnt work.
today i picked him up at work and i had bought him a gift for nothing, and i was talking about something and he just said so codly you're stressing me again while driving.
he is always on the phone with his younger sister, as i dont exist anymore and even delets messages in front of me.

I HATE my husband. My mother is a sick person, everyone thinks i have the perfect marriage and i have really really really tried to make it with this guy. when i say try, i mean back to and back.
i dont want to live with him and i am afraid of hurting him by leaving. I dont know what will happen to him, and whether or not i will regret it.

All i know is i hate him so much, that i have become too sensative to his existance. i cant and dont want to be around him. i wish the earth would open its mouth and swall me down.

I dont know what to do and am too concerned abuot this and that to put my foot down.

How do i know if i will not regret leaving him.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ask yourself, what will I regret? What do I like about him? Not the word "marriage" because that is probably what you think you will regret right? No longer being" married"..

If you HATE the thought of him touching you, speaking to you, if each day you dread being around him, if the only thing holding you is the word "marriage" must keep trying, I am married.... Take my advice, do what I did, walk.

You say you have tried, and tried, today you did again, bought something, you "tried" nothing you do makes any difference does it.

I understand you worry about how he will re-act, what will happen, your family, what they will say.

Funny one that one... Mine said " we noted the change in you four years ago, it is soo goood to see you back to yourself, and happy, don't ever go back"... Just when you think everyone will cave in on you, it is not the case.

CW

[Guest]

I've gone back and read over a few of your postings, both on this thread and others. I'm am afraid that you are not gonna like what I am about to say, but it needs saying...

You have gone back and forth describing your husband. One time you regret ever marrying him, the next you say he is a 'greaaaaaaaat man' or something similar to that...

do you have any real idea about how you think or feel about him? it just seems so varied.

I think that the 2 of you need to sit down and discuss this together, or find some counseling very soon. And you need to discuss BOTH the low sex drive on his part, and the back and forth feelings you are having.

there are two sides to every story, and then what's really happening...

[rcoreyus]

Don't listen to friends who say you have a "perfect" marriage. They can't know what is going on between you, or how you feel. Also it is possible to love someone who doesn't deserve that love. I understand your changing opinions. You WANT to love him, or maybe you love the person you want him to be. But it sounds like he isn't that person.

You might regret leaving him, but I'm sure you will regret not leaving. The world will look much brighter when you are out of this.

BTW: fault doesn't matter. Even if it was not his fault (and I think it is), you two are not compatible, why push things.

Don't waste more of your life. The longer you stay, the more difficult it will be to leave.

Richard Cory

[WildChild]

Read back through this, you have been on a roller coaster. My guess is you are no longer able to determine how you feel. It could be that 'love' is a memory of the past, it could be you do still love him but are disconnected from your feelings by his recent behavior. Only you can figure that out. But what you've said about no longer desiring him sexually says that your body has decided how to feel and what to do about his recent treatment of you. He needs some better stress management skills. Both of you could probably benefit from some counseling, having a disinterested person to talk with can be a big help.

[max'swife92305]

well i think that your also not gonna like what i have to say im 18 years old and i live with my husband and sometimes i feel like were not ment for eachother like we can get to eachother so bad that it hurts to be next to eachother but this is about you i see that maybe more or less that your not scared of hurting him by leaving i fugure maybe your scared of yourself that he actually holds some good in your life maybe your scared that he'll survive without you of someone new in his life i dont think its smart to break up a marriage after all it must have been love or the idea of loving someone n having a life long partner that u married him, but it is possible for a person to change so much that u barely know the person you use to be inlove with try leaving him notes if he says your always on his case try diffrent approches (or it could be possible that he has another) n that is what no wife wants to hear

[Phoebee]

DH got much more moody and upset before he went on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) But he NEVER broke up the house! To me doing that and for sure injuring you? Thats a deal breaker. Or at the very least I would expect some major changes before I lived with him ever again.

Has he talked to his doctor? I might be wrong but a man thats not interested in sex is REALLY messed up. Yes, I understand there are going to be a few glitches. He might be really sick or having a major issue at work but... For any great length of time I would first rule out a medical problem. *And check Thyroid as well! This does almost the same thing to a men.

I would tell him that he is acting REALLY weird and he may not see it in himself. *My DH thought everything was FINE having sex once every 2 months and being a jerk.

[WildChild]

Went throught this too. Phoebee is right, get him for a full physical. A man with out of wack hormones is no fun in a variety of ways

[silvertae]

I have to agree with the others that you two just sound incompatible and like you have some irreconcilable differences. It's also completely unacceptable for him to completely dismiss your feelings when you try to talk about the problems and just say "there's nothing wrong". Marriage is a partnership and he doesn't sound like he's listening to you or caring at all about your feelings. It's all about him. That's a recipe for failure.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I know you are reading this and saying, well was hoping for?..................

Sometimes, the purpose of anyone threading, is just for them to post, and then read, ...sometimes that is what you need to do...

smile..... we are all diff and we take what we need and not what we don't think is correct...

What do you think?


CW