[geogeo]

hello I went to the doctors today and he said I needed a little push to get back on my feet- he has put me on anti-depressants.....Scarey really what one person can do to you through their cold actions. It is like a diary for me this site ...I read back over my own words and realise how badly he has treated me....wonder if he will get nasty with me and start demanding things from me even though he has left me in debt for a holiday we will never go on that we both agreed to do. Im just not sure what he is capable of and am really frightened.....

[geogeo]

I am trying so hard to get back on my feet even the doctor said why are you crying over this person after what he has done to you? I think its hard for people to understand sometimes...Its not that easy...I do have pride Im not letting him see my tears but I cant stop dreaming about him and wondering why he said the things he did to me. So sad

[Passion]

The dreams will continue for a while. Don't try to understand why he did this to you plain and simple he is selfish and only cares for himself. He is not a happy person so he tries to make others unhappy. Keep going forward that is the best way to show him that you can do it without him then he will realize what he has done to you. You will continue to feel sad and depressed some days you will be okay others you will not talk to people, spend time with your friends, go out on nature walks and let it all out. Cry as much as you can to the point that there are no more tears but then lift your head up high and keep on walking forward try not to look back. Remember he is the one missing out not you. Make a plan and try to stick with it. Most importantly allow your friends and family to help you and if you need to talk to a therapist. I am and sometimes my therapist gives me that extra lift that I need. We too have discussed anti depressants however, I have a phobia on taking pills so she recommended natural herbal teas to allow you to sleep at night and a plan to make your bed as comfortable so that you won't wake up at night. If you need to buy a self help book and read it on those nights that you can't sleep or those nights that you wake up in the middle of the night. It will be very hard it is for me but we can do it. It's no longer about them its about us.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Darlin...

The man buys what he wants, trys to but guess what? You were stronger, you had strength you rebelled, you questioned...

You loved the dream, the one he created which was false... because he is in debt badly hey...

I know you saw the "princess wedding" the dream before you but you didn't , haven't seen whom you would have married.

Let him demand as much as he wants, can you see the side of him that you are refusing to see?

Not yet... and that's ok... You gave and expected back but it wasn't going to be...

There is really nothing any of us can say to you at this point... You are sad for the dream, of what you dreamed.

You haven't seen him for whom he was/is..

You will.

You keep your chin up, it's Christmas ok... at some point , slowly , you will be grateful and someone else with real love will walk in, you are young... remember that ...

This is your diary, and you keep reading it.

CW