[bigbee]

I have married one man twice. I love him, I will die for him, but I love him as a brother. Sometimes we go 2 months without any sex and I feel terrible to leave him again.
After the first divorce we kept on seeing each other, we even had a bf and gf each and still we saw each other.

We moved back together after two years appart and now we are married again with almost no sex life. I am very bored with him and I keep comparing him to other men, I do not mean to , but I feel I can have so much more.

But the bad part of it all is now I am fat ugly and older and wont get another man as easily. So I stay with him and keep mastrubating each day not to nag him for sex. I feel I kept on praying to God to bring us back together and I promised twise for better or worse, so here I sit unhappy and childless.

[rcoreyus]

You mention a lack of sex and a lack of children. Is the lack of sex because he doesn't want children, or are these completely separate problems?

[bigbee]

I think the lack of sex is the cause of no children, latelly. I think he is scared to commit to something like a child. He says if I wanna have, we can have, but he does not want to have in the first place, so how can I have children with this situation?

[Hopeless Dork]

When you mention that you feel like you can have so much more, what do you mean? More as in a better person than he is and if so which ways? Or more as in sexually only?

[bigbee]

He is a good guy. He keeps the house clean and do th washing. He cooks and is very faithfull, but he is not active. He has a back problem, foot problem and do not like going to gym and swim with me.

He does not like movies and he does not like any activities. We actually do nothing together except for eating and wathing TV. I feel I deserved better in all aspect especially when it comes to sex.
When he touches me it feels like an anaconda creeping up to smother me.

We used to party and do drugs together. Now that we stopped, we do not like to do anything together anymore. We shop once a month together and that is it. We eat, sleep and work.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hun, you re-married over "memories"...

Drugs, partying is fun is it not?

So you had fun but you remember all of that and so you tried again..

Apart from the drugs you guys had and have nothing in common really do you, including sex...

You are trying to recapture what was, which is no more.

CW

[bigbee]

Yes it is true, we met 12 years ago.
And as we got older; the parties died, so did the the sex. I do not know which way to go. I feel loveless and alone. If I leave I will be more alone, so I live like a robot.
It was our wedding Anniversary last week, it was the worse ever; he went to the doctor for a sore throat and I watched TV. We both pretend there is nothing wrong and keep smiling and make superficial talk and jokes, but I feel so empty and unsatisfied. I do not know whether I am just looking for excitement in my life or just fighting with myself getting old.
We are both 34 years old, but it feels like 55.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ok, so the back and foot issues?

Where they there before you remarried? I know that back issues can change a person, i was married to one... They become "sloths", self-opinionated, self-important, and don't much like life, and sex whilst they need the stimulation is "on the side" non-caring kind of way...

This may be the core to your problem as well....

What is he doing about his back problems/ foot problems.. Is he on pain killers? I assume he doesn't work?

CW

[bigbee]

He does work, but he stands most of the day. He works in a bank. So when he gets home, he is useless. But not that useless, he cooks and cleans and I swear that is all he does.

Almost over obsessive, but thats is a good thing, I do less then, that is actually why I love and stay with him, there is not a man like that, so I had to choose sex or clean house and I thought it would be ok, but now my stupid desician caught up with me. Can not have everything in a man, right?

He did go for tests and he did get an operation to his feet, and actually F... it up even more, this was the first time round when we were married, and it was unsuccesfull. His back is not yet that bad to get operated on, so yes he is a sloth most of the time. He let me think he is better when we got back together the second time.

He could dance and laugh when he had E in his system. He could dance 12 hours. Now the less walking and activities he does the better. If something falls on the floor between us, I pick it up, he does not even make an effort like a man should.

[cassie66]

have you thought about counselling? if you 2 really want to stay togetherits worth a try