[ChelseaRenee]

Wow. I don't know what to say. Since there are children involved I can't say just leave him....but jeesh! Do you know how selfish he sounds? And please, don't post a defense post about him. He doesn't try to make you feel good during sex, wants to be with other women and won't allow you to have friends who are male!

The more you post, the more it sounds like you know he's going to do it anyway and you're just trying to talk yourself into feeling ok with it.

Is this what you really want out of a lifelong relationship?

Every freaking thing Sourpuss said. I think I would have just burst out laughing in his face if he said "Uh...no what I mean is *I* wanna sleep around but no, you can't!" Sheezalou. And his reasoning but just...Lord help me.

He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to have a family, a wife type, a mom for his children, someone who takes care of him...but wants to be able to go about like he's a bachelor with no responsibilities. Personally, I'd tell him heck no and make him choose, but that's just me.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So you can't orgasm, he gave up trying, and so he wants to get out there and get himself some, and imagine, the woman who does orgasm with him, will he go back to her for more? Will there therefore, be an affair?

Agreements, agreements....Guess that's why he's a fiance and not husband, (on paper), cause then he would have to agree to be faithful for ever more.

He IS NOT your friend anymore, he is the father of your children, he is your man and your asking for a disaster to happen. You can't possibly view him as a "friend" "with benefits" because that is the way this is playing out. He is your friend, gives you benefits but not committed.

He might as well take a break from you, get his rocks off, see if the grass is greener sexually and then come back and be done with it.

For a guy who never let you have male friends, who was "over jealous", stating you can sleep with other men too, is rubbish... You are correct, he doesn't expect you to and yet your last paragraph comes across as your already planning to seek...

You guys need to read, look, google, all sorts about sex and then try different things "together", I bet if you let your hair down after a while you would have an orgasm and I bet all of this would not then be required.

Yep, that's my "opinion" as to why he wants to play the field....

I have no doubt he loves you, but he has an in-secure personality, he "used" to get jealous, and so he is in-secure about what he can't achieve with you, or make you achieve more to the point..

This to me is his problem, the problem and why he wants to stray.

Make a pack on working on this issue first and find each other's bodies properly and then see if he wants to do this.

Your heading for a dangerous territory otherwise.

CW

[JLockhart]

Sounds like your average 22 year old guy. I was not emotionally mature at that age. Fortunately, I knew that and knew I didn't want kids or marriage at that time. Most guys are not ready for that at 22.

I still agree with CW that you have to set boundries. Sounds like he wants the security of a relationship while he's out there having a good time and looking for greener pastures. What starts out as something physical can quickly become something more.

With a 2nd child coming, if he is doing his share taking care of them and providing for them, he might have less energy for other pursuits...ok, maybe that is wishful thinking...I almost forgot....he's 22...

[Phoebee]

This just echos what others have said but he is in his 20's not very mature. Probably very horny and saying he has a "Fantasy" is probably perfectly truthful. If he acts on that? Then it becomes much more complicated. Is that what you want to model to your kids? And maybe this is really old fashioned but why are you having kids with him and your not married? The idea that he wants a 3 some made me think about what I tell others to say to men who want to try Anal sex. Ok, what size strapon Dildo do you want me to get? Because he is only thinking of HIS pleasure if its two women and him. I think you should say your all for it and you wonder if the FED EX delivery guy might want to be the 3rd. If he suddenly backtracks saying this is NOT what he wants suggest that you probably understand how you feel about bringing another women into your bedroom. If he is all for it? Well... I dunno... I suppose you have to consider what type of relationship you've gotten into. I'm not into that type of thing myself. Even if you could feel safe about STDs there is the moral, religion aspects of this. I think it sounds too Jerry Springer-esc for my tastes.