[sosad4now]

Had a wonderful relationship with my soulmate for 4 years. We were engaged for the past year, and 3 months ago he decided literally out of nowhere (to me, at least) that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He just said he didn't love me anymore. We lived together and had a dog together and the wedding was all planned.

Fast forward to now ... I moved home, left the dog there, and it's been over 2 months since I've seen or spoken to him. At first he said he wanted me in his life, but then he told me a week later or something that it was too hard for him, so we went NC. We had the most wonderful loving relationship. Sure we had some little issues but nothing that couldn't be resolved and wasn't normal.

I miss every part of him. It's like I'm dead inside. I walk around in a shell that's me, but I'm not really there. I cry everyday and try to put on a brave face when I have to, but often breakdown in inappropriate places too. I miss my best friend, I miss my dog. I understand there is really no advice for a broken heart, I just need to constantly be assured that people understand how I feel, because it's scaring me how many tears my body can actually produce. I feel like there's no room for anyone else in my heart. I have no anger towards him, and that makes this even harder. I just want everything back to how it was. I'm so lost and confused and I don't understand what happened.

[WildChild]

This is never easy. It's painful, hard to understand and not easy to get over. Stop thinking of him as your soulmate but he may be part of your soul family and so you are kindred. One of the best ways to help your self feel better is to connect with people. Get out and literally do "good deeds". Find ways to help others, go vollunteer; at a food bank, a senior center, Habitat For Humanity, or the Park Service doing trail maintenence. This will help bring you out of yourself.

Get out with your girlfreinds. Work extra shifts if you can. Get out in the yard and do some gardening, work out. In other words keep busy physically and mentally. Maybe take a class, learn something new?

It takes time but it's been a year, time to move on. You have to simply decide to let go of him.

[sosad4now]

It takes time but it's been a year, time to move on. You have to simply decide to let go of him.

Not sure if you misread but it's only been 3 months. If I am still feeling like this in a year I might have myself committed ... though at this point I really see no end to when the pain will go away.

[WildChild]

Sorry, I did missread. The pain will subside, it fdoes take time. Getting busy, engaging in actvities with others, helping others and learning new things will help- I've been there.

[Hopeless Dork]

Time heals all wounds. So cliche, but so true. When its actively hurting there is no seeing getting to the point where one day you will think of this person and feel no pain at all, but you will get there. Everyone eventually does, some take longer, but in time, it does fade.

You have not allowed yourself to fully grieve the loss of this relationship. When someone exits our life in this way its like a death. Sometimes I think its more painful because they chose to walk out of your life, when they could be there still, but won't. You have not allowed yourself to feel anger, and in my personal opinion I think you should. Not anger as in lashing out or becoming emotionally upset. But anger as in recognizing that he broke your heart and did so willingly.

Let yourself be mad at him for that. You have dived into depression, and that is okay and normal, but soon you will reach the acceptance that you can only control your own actions. You can't make someone love you, as much as we all wish we could. We can't. If they dont, we have to find a way to cope with that and focus on giving our love to someone that can accept it and return it - starting with self.

Him leaving you will be the best thing that ever happened to you when you find yourself again. It sounds silly but it will. Being with him was only holding you back from being with the one that can love you trully and completely and not walk out on you like he did. Please focus on the things that he did wrong, the ways he hurt you (even if it was only his leaving) - not enough to make yourself sick but just enough to remind you of all the ways you are better off now.

Avoid thinking of the happier times, at least for right now, its hard - but the mind is a powerful thing and you CAN force him out of it, and for now focusing on how wonderful he may have been is serving no purpose for your emotional well-being. Later on when you are healed you will be able to think of those memories as life lessons, and smile to yourself over them, that you enjoyed them while they were occuring and let it be that.

Take this time to focus on goals for your own life, exsisting and new. Get yourself a NEW dog, get yourself a new haircut or color, join a gym or take a yoga class, start a new book, sign up for a new class. Start a new you and find a way to make yourself smile inside each and every single day, even if its just helping a little old lady with her groceries in a wal-mart parking lot.

[geogeo]

hello ...I here you and my god I feel your pain...I posted today My ex left me 3months before our wedding.....this was on the 1st of Dec 2008......You are hurting because it is all so confusing you are asking WHY.....The love the feelings the rawness....the erges to bring it back...god dont think you have to feel any different from the way you feel now. Can I tell you something ...you have to let yourself cry and i know the breaking down and the crying in different places. Let me put it into words....you are in a daze when you are walking around...working and going about your life....you can here your voice in your head when you speak almost like you are on a stage....the great act but inside his face is still there ...he is with you everywhere you go and when you least expect it the lump in the throat the putting an act on for other people comes crashing down and the tears come and god do they come......you want to cry at peoples kind words because you need to feel it will get better because now seems impossible.. Trust me when I say you will begin to heal ...at times not even seeing it happening..gosh read my post today under....When i loved myself enough...look at my pain at the stupid things I have done to heal....But I can tell you in its own way it has brought me to here and I am pushing forward. Never ever let go of your dream and the belief you will meet the right person....you dont believe that now ...but dont think never because you have to believe in yourself to get through this. I bet you dont know all the ins and outs of why he left but trust me when I say you dont know all those reasons but you will over time. Even if you dont stop trying to analyse everything that is just torturing yourself and you will never really know what is going through his mind... am I right when I say he feels like a stranger now....you never thought he could do this and yet we try to work out what they are thinknig. Please dont do this like I did it makes you really ill and you cant possibly work out every senario....Try to start letting go of the analysing and think what can you do to make things bearable. I watched the film ..sliding doors everday to convince myself that if we had not have broken down now it would have been much worse in the future. for some reason the film really helped me and I think you have to find what works for you. ...if you need to chat just e-mail me and i will help as much as i can...you need help you need to know you will get through this ....I will help as much as I can ...and trust me if i can get to this point my god so can you

[geogeo]

you are a really helpful person and your word are so well put across .....thanks they helped me to

Time heals all wounds. So cliche, but so true. When its actively hurting there is no seeing getting to the point where one day you will think of this person and feel no pain at all, but you will get there. Everyone eventually does, some take longer, but in time, it does fade.

You have not allowed yourself to fully grieve the loss of this relationship. When someone exits our life in this way its like a death. Sometimes I think its more painful because they chose to walk out of your life, when they could be there still, but won't. You have not allowed yourself to feel anger, and in my personal opinion I think you should. Not anger as in lashing out or becoming emotionally upset. But anger as in recognizing that he broke your heart and did so willingly.

Let yourself be mad at him for that. You have dived into depression, and that is okay and normal, but soon you will reach the acceptance that you can only control your own actions. You can't make someone love you, as much as we all wish we could. We can't. If they dont, we have to find a way to cope with that and focus on giving our love to someone that can accept it and return it - starting with self.

Him leaving you will be the best thing that ever happened to you when you find yourself again. It sounds silly but it will. Being with him was only holding you back from being with the one that can love you trully and completely and not walk out on you like he did. Please focus on the things that he did wrong, the ways he hurt you (even if it was only his leaving) - not enough to make yourself sick but just enough to remind you of all the ways you are better off now.

Avoid thinking of the happier times, at least for right now, its hard - but the mind is a powerful thing and you CAN force him out of it, and for now focusing on how wonderful he may have been is serving no purpose for your emotional well-being. Later on when you are healed you will be able to think of those memories as life lessons, and smile to yourself over them, that you enjoyed them while they were occuring and let it be that.

Take this time to focus on goals for your own life, exsisting and new. Get yourself a NEW dog, get yourself a new haircut or color, join a gym or take a yoga class, start a new book, sign up for a new class. Start a new you and find a way to make yourself smile inside each and every single day, even if its just helping a little old lady with her groceries in a wal-mart parking lot.