[shannon702]

hello i just want to share something that maybe someone can help me with. I have been married for 3 years and today me and my husband got into a figt. well i was really ****ed off and i snapped and i hit my husband in the face with my purse. well he called me a and punched me right on the side of my neck. now this is the first time he has ever touched me like that and i can remember that i have hit him once before. i do admit that i have a bad temper and i should not result in hitting him. i was just so in shock that he even did that and it hurt really bad and i got a bruise. i dont know if im the one at fault or if i should go up to him and say im sorry or what. i dont know what to do.

[WildChild]

You were wrong to hit him. He was wrong to hit you. He has a right to defend himself, however he is probably bigger than you and stronger than you and there are far better ways he could have dealt with this. The two of you need to get some guidance on handling disagreements.
Hitting is never acceptable. It isn't acceptable to hit a child. It isn't acceptable to hit your spouse.

[Hopeless Dork]

I wouldnt certainly not say that you in anyway deserved to be hit, even if you hit first.. he'd should have been the grown up and walked away and let you cool down.

That being said, I don't think its right for a woman to hide behind "being a woman" and hit and throw things at their SO and expect them to just take it constantly. I know you said its only happened twice but once is too much.

You need to find a way to deal with your anger without resorting to physical attacks. You should appologise to him for letting it escalate to that level, and tell him how his hitting you made you feel. Discuss how you two don't want to do that to each other and talk about things that you can do when you are angry that are safe for both of you.

Like agree that if one of you is so angry you get to pull the my turn to stew card and have the house to yourself for a little bit and let the other go for a walk and get fresh air or vise versa (never take off for a drive during a fight, your not concentrating and anger driving can be as dangerous as drunk).

I'd suggest marriage counseling but I know that is not always a viable option for everyone. But you two can communicate with each other about your feelings now, whats upsetting you now, as well as talk about ways to handle future conflicts.

[elsa_niloo]

when you and your husband are calm and not fighting you should come up with strategies on how to deal with fights and what to do when you get angry. My husband had a bad temper and used to break stuff around the house but then my older brother taught us to both leave the room and get away from each other for the moment to calm down.

It is not right of women to hit their husbands, because no matter how bigger he is, he is still fresh and blood and he will hurt too ( no matter how minimal). Being their natural instinct as male animals, they usually don't see a way other than to fight back physically.
It is ok that you are going through this. Everyone has a low moment and this whole thing is a bad experience that you will learn from.
if i were you, i would go and talk to him and appollogize for hitting him and make him understand that it is not right to hit me back. I would tell him that it was unacceptable of you to hit him but he should not have reacted so cruelly. Do appologize but play it in a way that he would realize he too was wrong.

Also learn that whenever you get mad, you cannot solve anything at that moment so walk away, go for a fun drive and listen to some calm music, have a smoke ( if you do smoke) or do whatever it is that calms you down then come back home and deal with him.

good luck and dont let this experience ruin your marriage.

[elsa_niloo]

when you and your husband are calm and not fighting you should come up with strategies on how to deal with fights and what to do when you get angry. My husband had a bad temper and used to break stuff around the house but then my older brother taught us to both leave the room and get away from each other for the moment to calm down.

It is not right of women to hit their husbands, because no matter how bigger he is, he is still flesh and blood and he will hurt too ( no matter how minimal). Being their natural instinct as male animals, they usually don't see a way other than to fight back physically.
It is ok that you are going through this. Everyone has a low moment and this whole thing is a bad experience that you will learn from.
if i were you, i would go and talk to him and appollogize for hitting him and make him understand that it is not right to hit me back. I would tell him that it was unacceptable of you to hit him but he should not have reacted so cruelly. Do appologize but play it in a way that he would realize he too was wrong.

Also learn that whenever you get mad, you cannot solve anything at that moment so walk away, go for a fun drive and listen to some calm music, have a smoke ( if you do smoke) or do whatever it is that calms you down then come back home and deal with him.

good luck and dont let this experience ruin your marriage.