[Steph33]

Life is to short to spend any of it just being a maid and cook while being paid in fear, depression, being lonely, and stressed..

Me: I'd be saying this is how it will be (and won't) or I'm gone (NOW).

You can use your club money (and more) to pay child and spousal support.
If you quit the teenage "with the guys" thing and all you're going to do is acted ****ed and not give me what I need, I'll still be gone. NOW. I can and will do better to get what I need and want. It's an exchange and partnership. That means I'm not a door mat or a domestic employee.

As far as how family reacts or others, they aren't living your life and don't have to deal with him. Don't make life decisions on what anyone else will think. They aren't going to live for you.

But that's just me, some seem to think it's aceptable to deal with for "years" and then it "might" fix itself. I went that route, it doesn't fix. It's base personality. If anything it gets worse or a new undesired trait(s) grows.

Why not, you put up with the first so why not more ? No need to consider others because he doesn't have to (even though anyone worthwhile does).

To put up with what you are now is, to me, abuse.

I don't gamble (might change ??). I know I'm a sure thing so operate with those thoughts in mind.

The only person whose life you have to satisfy is yours (and your kids). He isn't doing it as far as a guy.

I apologize for saying this, but reading what you live with is going to make me spoil the out of my BF tonight beyond what I always do. Everyone needs a reminder at times about their life, be it good or bad. This thread makes me appreciate what I have. There are tons of moron guys who just want to get laid, replace their mother, or have a servant they can jump when they feel like.

There are also great guys who think a partner matters above everything and anything else. You need a great guy. Trade in the one you have.

I'm soory all for my harsh and blunt, just seen this stuff happen to to many friends, as well as having had it happen to me. I learned and never ler it happen again. I own the key to my life and don't let any bad driver behind the wheel.

3 hours till mine gets home. He's going to wonder what he did right so he can do it again.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I guess I will be a Devil's advocate.

You met at 17, 18... Children really, and have been together ever since.

He has never cheated on you, loves you, you trust him, he's a Doctor and you stay at home, with a baby on the way, not many friends.

He's happy to take you with him from time to time, and rings you and lets you know he misses you, trys to make you feel needed and special in his own way...

This is his continual youth coming out... "Boys"...

His mates instigate the beginning time and the end time, he probably feels like an idiot to say, no I have to go home, wife expects me there at 4am, we have made a pact there... He feels he would be laughed at.

Your pregnant and hormones are going left right and centre, tears and insecurity over how much does he love me.

I agree that the amount of times is wrong, but he's still living his boys time out that he probably didn't have, as you both were around 18 when you met... he will grow out of it.

Men take so much longer than women in most cases to accept fully, responsibility of family and the importance.

Instead of concentrating on the time that he gets home and that you don't like that, concentrate on your son's events the next day that a "family" has to be together at.

The point being, that if he realises that part is important and take the focus of the time he gets home, he "has" to come with you, tired, hungover and as such, maybe he can realise that it's tough on him to do so and therefore, he may catch a taxi home early and say to the boys, my son has a game tomorrow, have to get up early man...

Start focusing on asking him to be there more on the weekends therefore for the kids.

You also need to get out and find more friends, and try to get over your fear of being alone and needy....

Have a girlfriend come over and watch a movie together , enjoy your time with your friends when he's out.

I think besides that he is selfish saying " I will, you have to get used to it", you need to show him you don't need him and your having fun without him.

Hopefully, he will get past this and not need it so much but at the moment, he's being a boy, whilst feeling that's ok to do..

I think the more you tell someone they can't the more they decide they will do..

CW