[Tigerlily21]

Ladies and Gentlemen, please help me figure out what's really real. Here we go. My husband and I have our own laptops. Soemtimes my husband uses mines when he's lazy to get his laptop. He's a bodybuilder, so he has an account with one fo those muscle forums. He has an account with them since 2006, before we met. ( we met in 07). He's always on the site, typing away. Last week, he left the site open on my laptop.
I wasn't sure if I should be nosy and read all his posts and threads. I would get up and walk back and forth looking at the computer fighting with myself.. Should I read it or shouldn't I.. Of course the should part won and I get to reading. OMG!! The things I read. How he gave advice to men on how to pick up women. How to much is never enough. He even wrote about his past experiences with women that I never knew about. I only knew about the one's he shared with me in the beginning of our relationships.
He even wrote about the type of women that turned him on. He threads like crazy about everything. Even some personal things about us in on there. I was so angry. I waited til he got home. I told him about the site and what I read. He looked at me and laughed. He sat down and said " Babe, none of that is true. I'm in character when I write things. Even the things I wrote before I met you. There all apart of a fantasy world I lived in, and I write to entertain people. They love it. Even the person that manages the site IM'D me to say to keep writing because more people are signing up to the site. I never lied to you and never will." Jeeeeeezzz... My head is spinning. My fellow peeps, PLEASE HELP ME.. I don't believe him...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, he answered very quickly did he not, his laughter was not a nervous laugh? Rather, his normal?

Let's face it, my name isn't Chandlers Wish, I write to all, I rarely actually talk about me, or my life, past or future, a glimpse when i need to express, and people see a side of me, it's the internet.

When I write on facebook for instance to the younger ones, i write totally different, because well, they are young and so i try to speak more within their language, ...

It is more than possible and definately I have read quite a few threads/posts where people live in a different persona, because they can, via the internet.

He writes of past, added you into it, writes of what is liked but you never stated here that he writes of present, a person, it sounds to me that he is stating the truth.

CW

[WildChild]

I think CW is right. A lot of people present a different persona online and that has gotten some people in trouble believing it. I've known more than one who met someone online who turned out to be not the least like what they presented themselves as. Usually over time you can tell, if you are a perceptive reader - a lot of people aren't.

There was one case I knew of where a woman met a man online, he presented himself as single, wealthy, sophisticated, experienced, a high powered business man. It turned out he was much older, in very poor health, almost broke, married and not at all what he pretended to be. I knew another, a woman, who posted pics that weren't her, got several men's contact info and turned out to be a real nut case who started harrassing them and threatening them.

Your hubby may very well be telling you the truth, why not give the benefit of the doubt?

[Tigerlily21]

Thank You guys so much. Your right, I know I over reacted I mean of course at the moment I was readind the threads and post. There were so detailed I started to see everything he wrote. just like reading a really good book and imagining the characters. Yeah he was very sincere and told me with all honesty. I was still holding on to jealousy and did not let his words sink in. But now of course it all makes sense.

I also see that he enjoys entertaining people and giving advice. Now before he posts, he lets me read what he wrote and asks me for my opinion. Gotta admit he has talent. Thank you guys once again.

[Hopeless Dork]

Oh I believe him. One, if it was something he was trully hiding and ashamed of he would NOT have done it on your computer - nor left it alone without logging it out. Also his reaction was so light. If it was something he felt he was doing wrong/bad he probably would have immediately gotten defensive at you peeking and just so different than laughing it off.

Plus you already knew he was on that website all the time, and you could have snooped sooner and he was probably really aware of that. I think you have nothing to worry about and sounds like you have a creative guy there, have fun

[sourpuss]

Guys do that all the time on internet forums. It's weird.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So do I, Sourpuss, here, in the Lounge, your not calling me a guy are ya? HAHAHAHA.

Now before he posts, he lets me read what he wrote and asks me for my opinion. Gotta admit he has talent.

Sounds to me like you are learning more about him everyday, and he's including you in what he does as well, when it comes into conversation with is excellent.

CW

[sourpuss]

So do I, Sourpuss, here, in the Lounge, your not calling me a guy are ya? HAHAHAHA.

Haha, no.
I've just known several guys who create personas on the internet (and in real life I suppose) I think it's just something men do.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Well, you shouldn't have read his posts in the first place.

Which makes you the wrong one, by the way.

[Tigerlily21]

Even the Great Ones depend on relationship for growth and higher learning.

I'm just learning.. if being wrong is going to get me to learn and grow, the I'll be wrong.