[hello_pitty]

It's not a big deal with me...in fact I encourage it because I have -100% sex drive now that i'm 10 weeks pregnant (It was opposite before). But it's expected and he understands, I do still give him oral or a hand job every now and then...but sometimes when i'm at work he needs to "relieve" himself lol

He likes to watch porn when doing this, but its $10 PER porn on pay per view. So do you think it's fair for me to say that he pays for it when he gets it? I was thinking next payday I'd surprise him and buy a couple of DVDs for him.

But yeah that's my question.

Thanks.

[Hopeless Dork]

The internet is loaded with free porn why in the world is he buying it?

[WildChild]

Head down tot he local adult shoppe together. You should be able to get DVDs for $10 each or even less. Aren't you having sex? There is no reason you can't.

[hello_pitty]

Oh pssshaw lol of course we're having sex! I even give him oral or a handjob, but some days the morning sickness just gets the best of me and I just can't and i'm not in the mood.

As for the internet porn...too much malicious stuff out there to do that...so he'd rather have "safe porn" (hehe) and go with the rentals and DVDs. We have 1 DVD but I think he's watched it a zillion times lol

[Guest]

If your married it's not yours and mine the money is ours.That said my wife is usualy the one that orders my dvd movies,she likes to watch them as well.

[M&Ms]

If your finances are separate, I would make him order them. In my opinion, you're not obligated to satisfy his sexual needs beyond having sex, giving him hand jobs, etc. If he needs the additional stimulation, he should probably fend for himself. My BF watches porn and while we're both open regarding the subject, we keep our means of obtaining resources to ourselves.

[rcoreyus]

As far as money - if he spends money on porn, do you spend money on things that just you enjoy? There is some safe porn on the internet - some of the long established sites are pretty safe.

[Haven]

Surprising him with DVDs is a great idea... especially if it happens more than once. Guys love that kind of thing and sometimes even brag about it to other guys.

As far as paying for the pay-per-views goes, it's totally reasonable not to want to pay $10 every time he gets the urge, especially considering all the alternatives. That said, if you have shared finances, insisting that he pay everything out-of-pocket might come across as a little petty. Even though the porn is only used by one person, both of you reap the benefit, much like with beauty products, expensive coffee, or any other indulgence.
People come with personal habits. Telling him that you don't think you should be financially supporting his might be sending a bad message, especially if it's actually something you encourage. A better message might be that you support him in his habit and would like to see that money spent on permanent, high-quality DVDs you could potentially watch together.

[hello_pitty]

Well we talked about it and he was A-ok with it. But if we start a porn collection there will be no need for PPP right? Our finaces are paid 50-50, except our personal ones, like our cell phones, and his credit card (I don't use his credit card and he doesn't use my cell phone, so we pay for them ourselves) We don't put our money into one big pile and spend it, we have our own bank accounts.

You know I don't understand the "shared finaces" thing, I really don't. With our paychecks, we pay our share of the bills (rent, power, gas, cable/internet/landline, food, pet supplies, Aarons (our rent-to-own computer that i'm on right now)savings, and our wedding bands which we are still paying off) and whetever personal bills we have we take care of ourselves.
He has a credit card that HE ran up for his power tools and lumber last year, but I do help him whenever he needs it, he has a credit at a music store for his guitars (only one more payment left, yay, then we can get drums! woohoo...THAT i will help pay for) And his car insurance every 3 months which I help with too...oh and gas for the car I help out with since he drives me to work sometimes.

Then my personal bills are, my Cell phone, Student loan. But I have to pay for cab fare to get to work every night. The reason I take a cab is because we live in a bad nieghbor hood and I don't want to walk to the nearest bustop two blocks away at night! Brent works at 5am, so he's already sleeping by the time I leave. The only time he can give me a ride is on weekends he doesn't work.

So whatever we have left after that is our own. We've been doing this for 3 years now and it works for us. Sometimes one has less money and the other helps out (of course we don't have to pay eachother back).

So can someone explain this "shared fiances" thing?

[WildChild]

Sounds like you have a good set up for your finances. Having been in financial services, I offer a few suggestions; I think it's better to keep your finances separate if you can. Some couples have a household account that they both pay into for the rent, utilites and groceries. Then they each have a personal account for their own expenses. If you can, budget permitting, it's a good idea to have a savings fund, it can cover emergencies and just give you a cushion. The recommended amount is 3 to 6 months income, so that if you end up unemployed you can keep going for a while, a lot of people can't do that much but anything is better than nothing. It's better to save for those extras such as drums and then buy them outright than to have to payments as a monthly drain.

Shop for your banking services just like anything else you may find a credit union is a better deal, mine has no fees for my accounts. While you need a establish a good credit score for your future be careful of overextending. It's better to have a small balance and pay it off monthly. It sounds like you are on the right path.