[Cugu]

I love my boyfriend,he had told me thta having a 3some is his sexual fanatasy.....we fulfilled it, but the problem now is that he want it and wants to try out with a dozen of his chat friends....

I keep on telling him thta am not gay and he should stop this maddness....
Dillemma: I dont want to lose him
He wants us to get married and have babies but with this I dont
know if a marriage can survive



What should I do.... Leave him Or???????????/

[WildChild]

What sort of threesome is this he's after? You saying you're not gay, he wants to see you with other women? Can you turn the tables tell him it has to go the other way too, you want to see him with another man? That may just shut the idea down.

How old are the two of you? You did this to please him, not because it's something that turned you on? How is it he has a dozen female chat friends that he feels would be willing to do this? It sounds like you are pretty tollerant and open to him having sexual conversations with other women.

Can you tell us why you don't want to lose him? What makes you think he is good marriage material?

[Hopeless Dork]

I think this is the reason a lot of women are terrified of fullfilling this 'one-time' fantasy of their S.O. Fear that he will like it so much it will change him in someway, or make him not satisfied with regular 1 on 1 sex and crave more of the multiple scenarios.

He is awfully selfish, he should thank his lucky stars that you granted him this fantasy pass, and not look a gift horse in the mouth begging for more teeth. Instead of his gratitude for the gift of trust you gave in doing this.. he is exploting it and wanting to push it to the brink.

If you didn't like it, if you don't genuinly want to do it again. Don't. You will build even more resentment to this man and neither of you will like what that leads to. His head is in the clouds right now, riding the wave of having his cake and eating it too. Jumping around lining up 12 more possibles... ugh. Talk to him, tell him how you feel about it, tell him how much it took for you to fullfill his wish and that its not something you want to do again at this time. If he doesn't hold you and realize that he just got a lil too excited there, and tell you its fine then you might have to question like WC said... what is it that is marriage material about this man. The ability to be monogomous is usually high on the list of requirements for "marriage material".

[happy ending]

i couldnt have said it better than hopeless dork. i am in complete agreement with the other posters.

[Iseulda]

You're not the one being unreasonable here - he is. You did it once, so he could try it - I'm guessing he knew why you were doing it. If not then you need to tell him in no uncertain terms.

But tell him knowing that, as I said, you are not being unreasonable. The ball is NOT in your court to accept threesomes as part of your sex life - the ball is in HIS court; does he want you or some woman who will do the threesomes. He can't have both - he has to choose. Push it back on him and stop taking responsibility.

I know couples often make compromises to be together but this is taking it too far. Unless you are gaining your own pleasure from the thought, and more importantly the act, of having threesomes with other women on a regular basis then you simply can't agree to it - you'd come to hate him, a point hd already made.

I know lots of marriages and long term relationship that do not have monogamy as part of the equation - but that comes from both parties. The folks I know have very clear boundaries and stay faithful, within their own framework, their own comfort zone. You've done your bf the massive favour of going outside your comfort zone to fulfil a fantasy for him. I think that's wonderful - he needs to think so too, and recognise that that's all it was for you.

But like I said - this is not your responsibility or your choice - it is his. He has to choose between you and the threesomes. And think of it this way - do you really want a man who would choose threesomes over a woman who lves him? If his does choose that way at least you know you're well shot of him.

I hope that helps. I hope he makes the right call.

[Honda Dude]

I personally never had a 3 some, but know someone who has. He said although exciting at the time it was ackward, caused relationship/jealously problems on both him and his wife and the 3rd. I think every man alive it is their fantasy, including my own, but I think unless you have a very open, trusting stable relationship, you probably should avoid it. Even then, if jealously takes over......warrented or not..

[HALFNOTHING]

I personally never had a 3 some, but know someone who has. He said although exciting at the time it was ackward, caused relationship/jealously problems on both him and his wife and the 3rd. I think every man alive it is their fantasy, including my own, but I think unless you have a very open, trusting stable relationship, you probably should avoid it. Even then, if jealously takes over......warrented or not..

I agree. In my case, he has me and his other wife. I disappointingly not agree with that 3somes. I'm dieing just by thinking of him having sex with that girl how much more seeing verbally. Gosh.. But, Anyway That was before when i still love my husband. not now..

But, in your case, I practically advise not to agree on his court. He is abusing your love. He is not thinking in your side. He is selfish.