[Juda2oo9]

I need help and advice, I think I have completely lost it. My husband and I have been married for 3 years, MANY downs, and some are things that he should of been left for just on general principle. but I stayed. Mind you these things arent even cheating that I'm talking about, so you know his attitude must have been foul. None the less, he's gotten better with his anger and treats me for the most part like the hottest woman he ever saw..........Now here's my insecurity......It has happend that on MORE than one occasion he has been in the same room as a COUPLE of the people he slept with. one being a long term ex and another just a conquest. The conquest's name is Sekina, and A while ago he went to her house to get something, I was in the car ( and by the way i had NO idea we were at her house, because he came to see a friend.) well anyways. when he gets back he tells me how sekina was there and he sat next to her and her bf was on the other couch and someone the conversation turned into "lasting long".... and tells me he made the comment to her which went something like...." Yea babi you remmeber how long i can stroke" .......supposivly to make her bj jelous...... When he told me i almost died inside. It hurt me SO MUCH till this day im not over it. it makes it worse cause he saw NOTHING wrong with it. But if the roles were switched Im pretty sure it wouldnt end good. Any married women, i hope you understand where I'm coming from? dont you? I mean this couldnt have been ok. when i think about it i get teary eyed. like now.

And the other incident i MUST share so you guys can give me a good opinion. is that he and a male friend went to a girls house and she happen to conviently have his long term ex there as well. well long story short, his friend supposivly has sex with the girl (not my mans ex). and later on my husbands ex supposivly made a comment like " yea i have you now".... and claimed to have stuck the condom inside her that she found in the room. ( which is the condom HIS FRIEND supposivly used.) Now please tell me why in the his ex would think its MY HUSBANDS CONDOM if it wasnt even him who has sex with the girl? the answer he gave me was that he also was in the room with this girl alone for a while and he claims that's why his ex thought it was his. but says he didnt do anything but talk....
SO now.... please tell me im tripping, and i'll go insane!?!?!!?

[WildChild]

Sounds like at the least he likes to play mind games with you and others. It also sound like he is tempting trouble. Can you calmly sit him down and explain to him how htis makes you feel and that you expect his concerned and loving response to be to stop this behavior?

[HALFNOTHING]

You should stop him for his behavior.. he's a married man supposedly not going everywhere especially girls room especially his ex.. what is he thinking ? think you're a follower and just go along with the flow.. or you could try what's doing.. meet an ex of yours and talk in a public place and call him.. introduce your x to him.. hehehe.. tell him, you miss the talk..if he will angry, tell him what exactly he is doing.. if he shows nothing concern, so maybe something wrong with the relationship...

[Hopeless Dork]

1. Why is he putting himself in situations to be around these women?

2. Why is he telling you about the stupid stupid things he says to them?

Telling you the long stroke comment, do you know the other people that were in the room when he said it? Did he maybe worry they would tell you what he said so he told you first to save face? If you don't know them and wouldn't have heard it , he was awful insensitive to tell you that for no gain... and also just weird to say in the first place to make her bf jealous.

Why would he want her bf jealous? Why would care about that? He sounds so childish and immature, needy for attention and downright mean.

Does he do any of this stuff in front of you? Where are you when he is out with these friends and why does he have so much free time to just cruise around visiting friends all the time? Does he work? Does he spend quality time with you?

[Juda2oo9]

*sighs*

Yes, I'll have to agree with everyone when you guys say its down right mean. I get the impression that when he told me, he said it in a manner as if it was ok, or like he saw nothing wrong with it. I highly doubt that he said it cause of scared-ness, cause i highly doubt the ppl in the house would of told me anything anyways. they have no clue about marrige let alone feelings lol ( so sadd but true) .....He just told me like it was a regular conversation (what ****ed me off more when he told me was ......."If i had to do it again i would, not a biggie"). And guys...... i know that there are worse things.. like him cheating......... or hitting me.......... but the reason I posted this for help or advice was because it was that very inccident that has made me so insecure and confused....
I have no clue why he gets himself in situations where he's alone with his ex....... it makes no sense to me. But i guess that's what i get for living in a small town where he "Got around"......... its inevitable that i will run into someone he had some type of sexual relation with.
I held in my anger and jelousy for a long time. then one night during one of our lovely big arguements i came out with how i felt about the incident. he sat there and listened to what i had to say. I cried, he said sorry. End of the convo. But even though he listened and said sorry after seeing me cry. Something still doesnt feel right. I havent been the same. I'm always scared.
and normally our relationship is great (now-a-days lol. it us to be rocky) But I still struggle with-in myself, if that makes sense???? I don't need therapy do I???? Maibe I just need to chill, and let time take its course.
THank you guys for your support.........

[HALFNOTHING]

he sat there and listened to what i had to say. I cried, he said sorry.

for all those things, sorry is not enough.. he should stop that act.. he should consider your feelings..There's no such good in playing martyr, i think it's a waste of time..