[WildChild]

You either have to find it in yourself to rebuild the trust and let go of this or leave. Explain to him how difficult this is for you, what it has done to your trust for him and that he will have to work to rebuild that and re-earn it. In a sense he will have to court you, to show you that he values you and your marriage. People have overcome this sort of thing and developed stronger relationships because of it. If this has shown him how much he really values your marriage, he should be willing to work on it. Perhaps you both should work on educating yourselves sexually? SO you can better please each other?

[stressed]

I read this thread once again and it's just so sad...I'm afraid that he will certainly have 'sexual urges' again at some point in the future, what is he going to do then? Call somebody else? Even if he didn't cheat, he thought about cheating and he would have done it if the maid was available. What if the next woman he calls feels the same way about him? I wouldn't be able to live in such a relationship :/ I feel so sorry for you

If you want to work on this then give it time and go to a couple's counselor together, but you must remember that you are not the one doing wrong here. Having thoughts about cheating is one thing, he could have worked on that and try to improve his life with you, but going as far as to call somebody to cheat is terrible.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your husband doesn't sound controlling, or looks down on you.

But, your husband seems to be missing things in the bedroom...

He says he had "stronge urges", I am wondering if you should see a sex therapist together.

I am wondering if he is lonley sexually and made a bad judgement call, which nearly got him kicked to the curb. I say this because, he offers "suicide" as proof to you.

I think your husband is soft, and that you two can communicate.

I think Wildchild mentioned a thought in this regard above in a post.

I don't think a physcologist is needed, I think a sex therapist is needed and you two explore each other, love each other intimately, and more than you do and more adventurous than you do.

15 Years is a long time.... you forget how to love intimately sometimes but not how to love externally, via words, smiles, a kiss or hug... There is more to love.

If you still love him have a think about sexually where you two are at and have been ..

CW