[Neaky]

I never said that pictures of those airbrushed [enter text here] shouldn't bother you because i would be just as offended.. I understand so please, don't take what i said the wrong way. And yes Michele, i know that i'm "safe" because my guy hasn't let it take over but i was trying to make a point to the person saying [basically] all guys who watch porn are like that but it's not true, that's all.. Then again, i guess that's just my opinion.

[Hopeless Dork]

I've had many conversations with my boyfriend about my concerns with him looking at porn and it all came down to how it made me think he felt about me.

The COMMON thread so many women share in being upset at their boyfriend/husband for looking at porn is the fear of not being attractive to them by comparison... the worry that their guy must think more of those girls because they are seeking them out when they have you, etc. Also a lot worry that their guy's are wasting their sex drive on fantasy and leaving them wanting.

Communication helps with this one. I sat down with my boyfriend and told him every fear, asked him every question I had about porn and what it did for him, what he wanted from it and what it made him think of me.

It took SEVERAL conversations and incidents of me getting upset for him to understand it was bothering me enough to really open up to me about it and to be open to understanding my issues with it.

I am not a control freak, I don't want to own my boyfriends penis or his thoughts. I don't want to derrive him of self-pleasure and I sure as heck don't want to make him feel bad for being human.

I learned that men are different. They don't see it like we see it. They don't see that they are choosing a strangers body over ours. So they go on about their business and think no less of us, expect no more from us just because they look at these girls.

But its important for them to actually see it how we see it, to work out the misunderstandings. Even now that I 'get it'... I am still not THRILLED about him scoping out naked beauties on the internet, but the part that bothered me most - worrying that I wasn't enough for him - is no longer an issue.

I've always looked at porn on my own, but stopped when we got into our relationship because I no longer desired it. I expected him to feel the same but obviously he isn't built that way. To say... he should feel and be exactly like I do/am is unfair and unrealistic.

He is compromising with me, he is going out of his way to make sure I know he thinks I am sexy. He's making me feel more loved than he ever has, more wanted and more appreciated and all because we had our talk. He didn't know. Most guys don't know. But worse yet, some learn and don't care. He at least cares enough to try to reassure me that there is no comparing, no competition for his attention and that I will always be first choice.

So for that, I compromise too. I've taken to watching some porn with him occasionally because not only do I enjoy it too... but I like letting him know that I am willing to meet him on the middle on it. It's not my way or the highway, but more of me needing my feelings to be factored in too and when they are, I will do the same.