[adevin]

What should a wife do when her husband's love starts to fade away? like he stops doind the loving things he used to do, and what do you think are the causes, let's share ladies!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

There's really nothing to go on here to reply to be honest.

How about you let us know how long it's been fading away, is he stressed at work, is he home as usual, tell us more about yours and maybe we can share more on what we think is happening.

CW

[Gahzilla]

My husband stopped giving me gifts about 3 years ago, back when he bought me one of those water foot massage/bath deals. I was happy he thought of my needs with my sore feet, but sad because I couldn't use it. I have Fibromyalgia and you can't use those types of massage devices. He was disappointed that I never used it, but also didn't read the big red sticker on the front of the box that said "NOT FOR USE FOR FIBROMYALGIA PAIN". He knew I had it.

I don't really know how to bring back the gift-giving mentality. Sometimes, I would ask for a surprise if he was going out. I'd get a decent chocolate bar, a coke zero (mmm) or something small, and always showed vibrant appreciation for the little things. That may be your starting point, when you go out, make it a point to pick up something he enjoys that is small, and ask him to get you a surprise when he goes out.

I'll have to think more on this.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Some, do not think.

I have fibromyalgia and you want to know something? I had no idea that a foot massage/bath was not good for this, in-fact I disagree with the manifacturers... Heat bags, hot baths, help me immensely and I don't take pills... What helps me the most apart from being positive, is walking.. seriously.. seems to release the muscles and also NOT typing.... Ask this lot here, I apologies every now and then for not replying, because it's too painful and I have to step away from the Computer.

So... I am saying, you need to understand that what he did, at the time, he thought was wicked, helpful and felt proud. You obviously, seeing as you've stated " big red sticker, "NOT FOR USE FOR FIBROMYALGIA PAIN", think that he should have seen that, why? He did something he thought was helping and neglected to read those signs, he saw "visually", not mentally...

Some do not read, they are visual people... and so they only look at something and make a decision.... based on visual... does that make sense?

He now doesn't give because I suspect you bought all of that up with him, through your pain and suffering of this... Do you have Myofacical pain as well? IBS? They are usually a trigger from the first.

That in itself can get you y...

Tell him you respect he's a visual person and that you were wrong... You didn't see at that time that he gave you something he thought would help and irrespective, it was beautiful as a thought... and please not to stop doing those things.

And, yes... You also have to do the same back.. Everything is a two way street.


CW

[Gahzilla]

All I know is that when I used it, my feet were about a million times worse off than they had been. I think it's the vibrating massage part. I can get foot rubs without issue, but any type of vibrating massage anywhere on me hurts so bad.

I'm also a non-meds person I can't take 90% of them as I don't enjoy vomiting for days afterward.

I don't fault my husband for purchasing the machine with the giant label, I kind of chuckle at it, and was happy that he thought of ME, but eh... not in the way I would have preferred. Can't be picky, I know, but he knew I really appreciated the thought behind the gift.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I can get foot rubs without issue, but any type of vibrating massage anywhere on me hurts so bad.

That makes sense I'll retract the statement regarding the manufacturers.

I too can get massages, but if they are rough and hard, i suffer for a few days, if they are mild and help releive, then I am fine.

Good point.

CW

[WildChild]

You may need to just be blunt, most men don't do subtle. Just tell him how much you love it when he gives you a gift or surprises you with flowers or something, tell him you miss that because is made you feel you special and cared about.

[MOONWILLOW]

I personally think that what has happened is just like what happens in many relationships, especially if you have been together for a long time. We start to take each other for granted. When you first meet you do everything to impress. He buys gifts and treats you nice to win your heart. Once you get married and have kids we forget to say thank you for even the little things.
Try to re-kindle the flame by doing something nice for him tell him how much you like when he does __ for you or how you miss doing __ like you used to.