[amware75]

I am having an isssue that I want all you ladies to give your advice on. I am 34 and my fiance is 21. When we first met everytime I saw her she would attack me. I was just in between a bad relationship and she knew all about it. So she really helped me move forward. I found that she is a great person. Here it is a year later and we have a 5 month old lil girl. Ever since the baby was born she will not initiate any kind of sex and it seems she only does it to please me. Now before the baby I could not keep her off me. I am worried because I feel that she is too young to not have a sex drive. I have been in prison for the last 16 years and I just got out in Dec. of 2007. So it is just like I am 21 or something because I am horny all the time. We are about to get married and I want to make the right move. I cannot live my life being sexually supressed. It was plenty of times where she had me worn out but wanted more and I kept going with enthusiasm. She gives me none of that and I am getting very tired of it. I do love her more than anything and I know she loves me. I feel that she is not interested in me like that anymore. What do you ladies think?

[Jaime]

Oh do I have an opinion! First, she just had a baby. She isn't going to be back to normal for a long time. Hormones are a crazy and powerful thing. Also, think about her stress load. A new baby is hard work. Does she work? How much sleep is she getting? How much help is she getting? It may seem minor to you but helping her with chores may really make a difference. If she isn't getting sleep, how can she be sexual? I'm sure it is a hard time for you too but you have to make adjustments in a relationship. Kids change a sex life in so many ways. You will have to schedule sex around the kids' naps and bedtime. It isn't ideal but it is the life a parent.

So, my advice, help her more so she will have the strength to help you more. She just had a baby. Give her time to recover physically and emotionally. Personally, my baby is 5 months old and I am still not right myself. Lack of sleep is the biggest thing. Broken sleep at night isn't good sleep.

Hope it helps.

[Hopeless Dork]

There are a lot of factors that come into play with a womans sexuality... feeling sexy being a huge one. Did she gain much weight with her pregnancy? Has she lost it all yet? If the answer is she is a little heavier than she use to be, that could be one thing that has affected her drive. Do your best to make her feel like she is hot as ever to you... even if she doesn't say it, she may be self conscious of her post baby body -- so you complimenting her often, telling her how sexy she is will boost her confidence, make her feel more sexy and you'll reap rewards there.

Like Jaime mentioned, sleep... is she getting enough of it? Being tired and exhausted doesn't exactly make anyone feel sexy. Be sure to give her back rubs and foot massages, let her take a long bath while you watch the baby... when she goes in for a nap, give her some nites where you alone wake up with the baby letting her get a full nights rest, etc.. Not only will she feel more rested, she will feel appreciated and cared for... again you'd reap the rewards of that.

Hormones, Mental blocks of 'now im a mom and moms aren't supposed to be sexy', body image issues, exhaustion, all those things can develop in new moms and effect their once insatiable sex drives.

While the hormone one is nothing you can do anything about except give time for those to settle in and return to normal you can do plenty with the other. Reminding her how beautiful you find her, making her feel hot and sexy, sharing the responsabilities so that she gets rest... all those things may help.

[WildChild]

There is a little something called the Mommy syndrome. Mommies aren't sexy, they are motherly. Get a copy of Mama Gena's Marriage Manual, you should both read the chapter,"Good Wife Syndrome".

Give her time, having a baby mixed up the hormones, they need time to rebalance.

[the wench]

give her a child free night 2 rememba....romantic meal (cooked by u lol)...candles...massage...make her feel special again as a wife not a mother....hopefully it relaxes her and u both have a lovely night