[Guest]

I'm going to assume that you mean this goes for both men and women? Granted there may not be many cases where the woman is the one that watches porn and the man is upset over it. I just don't see why it's always the women that have to "get over it and deal". Why is it that a man never is expected to "get over it and deal"?

I feel the same about a woman and her toy(s). If it's something that is upsetting to her s/o then she needs to give them up also.

Absolutely.

However, I have no problems with my girlfriend/fiance/wife viewing porn.

BUT-

I would never give a woman an ultimatum to throw her toys away.

And similarly, I would not date a woman who owns sex toys.

And responding to a previous post by you- I'd say about 90% of the women I know in my age group and younger use sex toys.

[Fallen1]

Absolutely.

However, I have no problems with my girlfriend/fiance/wife viewing porn.

BUT-

I would never give a woman an ultimatum to throw her toys away.

And similarly, I would not date a woman who owns sex toys.

And responding to a previous post by you- I'd say about 90% of the women I know in my age group and younger use sex toys.

True ........ ultimatums never work, actually makes things worse.

I guess I just feel that when something is upsetting to one's partner (male or female) that the other should be willing to do whatever it takes for the relationship. I guess I live in a fantasy world when it comes to how I think a relationship should be.

I will admit that I have used toys in a past relationship BUT they were bought by him. I was never really thrilled with them, just wasn't/isn't my cup of tea. I prefer the real thing. Once the relationship was over they went into the trash.

[Guest]

True ........ ultimatums never work, actually makes things worse.

I guess I just feel that when something is upsetting to one's partner (male or female) that the other should be willing to do whatever it takes for the relationship. I guess I live in a fantasy world when it comes to how I think a relationship should be.

I will admit that I have used toys in a past relationship BUT they were bought by him. I was never really thrilled with them, just wasn't/isn't my cup of tea. I prefer the real thing. Once the relationship was over they went into the trash.

To each his/her own.

In my mind, a man who views porn regularly only perpetuates his inclination to seek sexual gratification in ways not related to his significant other.

A woman who uses toys does the same.

Both reduce their responsiveness to their significant other's sexual prowess.

Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing? It makes us less human when we rely on machines (computers/toys) to indulge our sexual desires.

What ever happened to real hands/tongues/penises/vaginas and real people?

[Fallen1]

To each his/her own.

In my mind, a man who views porn regularly only perpetuates his inclination to seek sexual gratification in ways not related to his significant other.

A woman who uses toys does the same.

Both reduce their responsiveness to their significant other's sexual prowess.

Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing? It makes us less human when we rely on machines (computers/toys) to indulge our sexual desires.

What ever happened to real hands/tongues/penises/vaginas and real people?

Agreed !!

[stressed]

To each his/her own.

In my mind, a man who views porn regularly only perpetuates his inclination to seek sexual gratification in ways not related to his significant other.

A woman who uses toys does the same.

Both reduce their responsiveness to their significant other's sexual prowess.

Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing? It makes us less human when we rely on machines (computers/toys) to indulge our sexual desires.

What ever happened to real hands/tongues/penises/vaginas and real people?

Now you're talking.

[rcoreyus]

Good question for some of us.....<ng>

What ever happened to real hands/tongues/penises/vaginas and real people?

[maree23]

porn is very bad

I can only advise you from my own experience. Seven years ago I was happily married with 3 daughters. Then my husband purchased a computer. I remember the first couple of days there were filthy picutres all over the computer. My kids even saw this, I was shocked and told him to cut it. Gradually over the years my husband became withdrawn and abusive, this is a man that I had never heard sware for at least 10 years. He even became physicaly abusive, pushing and shoving and showed me no respect at all. We went from havng a normal sex life to may be 3 times a year. But even though all of this I never though about porn. Then he accidently left his emails open and there was a lot of like "booty calls" and stuff like that. Then one morning I come home from church and sat on the computer, it must have died or something so I clicked restore to last session and this site The porn Hub come up with a discusting vido playing plus 2 girls with web cams aged 19 and 23 the same ages of his daughters. Well that was it for me we are now seperated and I carn't stand to even look at him. I now realise that over the past seven years he has been hooked on porn and I say its destroys your mind and your soul and your marriage

[stressed]

I can only advise you from my own experience. Seven years ago I was happily married with 3 daughters. Then my husband purchased a computer. I remember the first couple of days there were filthy picutres all over the computer. My kids even saw this, I was shocked and told him to cut it. Gradually over the years my husband became withdrawn and abusive, this is a man that I had never heard sware for at least 10 years. He even became physicaly abusive, pushing and shoving and showed me no respect at all. We went from havng a normal sex life to may be 3 times a year. But even though all of this I never though about porn. Then he accidently left his emails open and there was a lot of like "booty calls" and stuff like that. Then one morning I come home from church and sat on the computer, it must have died or something so I clicked restore to last session and this site The porn Hub come up with a discusting vido playing plus 2 girls with web cams aged 19 and 23 the same ages of his daughters. Well that was it for me we are now seperated and I carn't stand to even look at him. I now realise that over the past seven years he has been hooked on porn and I say its destroys your mind and your soul and your marriage

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, it's very sad when men become so hooked on computers, let alone porn. Especially if they haven't had one before they tend to do everything they missed doing with it as teenagers. He must understand that there should be nothing worthy of more attention than real life.

[giddyupdude]

Male perspective

My wife recently caught me watching porn and we are arguing about it, so here's some male perspective.

Guys don't NEED porn, but we NEED to masturbate. Porn makes this easier for us, as fantasizing and creating scenarios in our head can be difficult, especially with distractions.
Porn is also an outlet for our fantasies. Nearly all men wish they could have multiple women at the same time, and guess what, most women aren't going to do that. This is fine, most men don't expect it. But if we could watch some guy doing it, and fantasize that it's us in that room, then we will. This goes for other things as well. Most men just fantasize about being virile studs who could get a new woman every day. This is a fact, men have fragile and hungry egos. If we can live out the stud fantasy vicariously through porn, then who does it hurt?

Porn gets a bad rap, but the truth is, it can be a very healthy thing for a man or even a woman. It can help relationships, and it can teach men how to be more proficient lovers.
The problem is, that women put too much thought into it. Let me answer your questions real quick and then i'm done.
1) Does he find them more attractive than me?
probably. These are women who do nothing but have sex. We don't see their annoying habits. These are women who often submit fully to us, and that is why they're so attractive...they feed our egos.
2) Would we rather be with them than you?
No. Because that would ruin the fantasy, we would then see their annoying habits and have arguments.
3) Does he wish I was more like that?
Yes and No. Being open and honest in bed and being willing to TRY new things is great. But don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.
4) Would he rather watch porn than be with me?
No. If he does, then there are deeper issues at work.

If you pet a man's ego, it will go a long way toward peeking his interest in sex.

[Fallen1]

1) Does he find them more attractive than me?
probably. These are women who do nothing but have sex. We don't see their annoying habits. These are women who often submit fully to us, and that is why they're so attractive...they feed our egos.
2) Would we rather be with them than you?
No. Because that would ruin the fantasy, we would then see their annoying habits and have arguments.

Wow ..... just wow.