[kerry-]

You do NOT deserve to be walked all over! I'd ditch him, what he is doing isn't right and the whole staying for the kids thing may be what you want on your part but how would your children feel if they ever found out?! They are bound to find out sooner or later. If you stay for more and more years eventually he will do it again. He doesn't respect you and you don't deserve that after all he's put you through! You poor woman I can't imagine how you feel.
Do not let yourself become some pigs doormatt! Pick up all your self-respect and realise nobody deserves to make you feel like this! And if they cared they would never want to make you feel like way and they wouldn't! Tbh he sounds like total scum and I hope you make the right choice and leave him and find yourself someone who loves, appreciates and respects you for all that you are!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's funny how a person will always "blame" the other person when a relationship fails, in order to cover their own tracks, make their own mind feel better, all the while knowing what they have done and also as a cover for everyone else, a reason....

You just basically said you had an inner peace, now that he has left and that your kids are actually OK with this as well.

That has to tell you something.

You have to see that NO ONE can treat you like this anymore, your free of it, don't go back ever... Start living for you and smiling more....

Start doing things you wouldn't have done before.

And, his parents may think the sun shines but they also aren't silly they would have known, know... nothing you can do there.

CW

[happy ending]

i agree with CW and if your kids act like they dont care, they probably dont, no one likes to see their mum be treated like you were. have you changed the locks yet?

[Explorer44]

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

If he told you you could have the house...GET IT IN WRITING!!! If he gets a lawyer, he/she will tell him to fight for it.

This happened to my mom, and she ended up in an awful mess because he kept wanting the house even though he said he didn't.

Even after she died he tried to get the house!

[sinner]

What about you?
What about your children?


What do I think? Get him out of the house and tell him he can go off and play Nurses and Doctors now, on his own Your living your life finally... Change the locks.. Your children don't need him anymore in their lives, they are young Adults you don't have to do anything anymore, it's your life now.

CW

got to agree here cw hit it spot on you deserve to be happy you deserve to be free of all this pain

[Losingit361]

i agree with CW and if your kids act like they dont care, they probably dont, no one likes to see their mum be treated like you were. have you changed the locks yet?

My son told me last nite...Mom it's not a big deal people get divorced all the time....Well, this is not how I wanted my 18 year old to start out...
I haven't changed the locks. I need to by the end of the week.
I'm ****ed off about how he can just walk away and has absolutely no responsibilities right now. NONE!! He just has to go to work and drink his stupid beer and that's it. He "TEXT" the kids for a few minutes every 24 hrs, (he went 48hrs without speaking to my son) but has only talked to my daughter on the phone, because she called him!!
She asked him where he was staying and he said on a "couch" and she asked no where and he said in a "house" Well your daughter isn't stupid and wasn't born yesterday, She knows your staying at your GF's house and sleeping in her bed. I know him, he would NEVER sleep on a couch...What a dumb ss! GEEZ + I have pics of his car parked at her place.

I'm worried that I am going to change my mind or regret decisions. But, how many times do I have to go thru this! I deserve better. I don't deserve to be treated this way. He's had ample time to get a courtesy officer apt or move in with another cop! I know that he has friends that would let him stay with them and I know of at least 2 courtesy officer apts that have come available. So, he's obviously comfortable at her place. He is definitely not sleeping on the couch!

[Iseulda]

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

If he told you you could have the house...GET IT IN WRITING!!! If he gets a lawyer, he/she will tell him to fight for it.

This happened to my mom, and she ended up in an awful mess because he kept wanting the house even though he said he didn't.

Even after she died he tried to get the house!

Quoted for emphasis.

My ex did something similar and then tried to go back on it - luckily I have the discussion in email. My lawyer says that makes all the difference.

So do get it in writing about the house.

[manspoint]

From what you have said it appears that you will be better off. However there is a lot of emotional pain still to come. Definitely get all "promises" of what you can have in writing.
I will ask of you that you give him access to the children and DO NOT criticize him, rag him out, bad mouth him or his new woman, with the kids in ear-shot. Just say nothing about them.
I had this...I had good access to my girls, we spent quality time together as we did before I left, then they started thinking I was bad, to the point where I haven't seen them for over 2 years. They moved and gave no contact or address and her family kept shut about it.
It was so bad on the children that my youngest daughter, 13 at the time, lived on the streets for 6 months, self abused and did who-knows-what.
I keep hope that they will grow up and realise their mother is full of poison and allow me to find them again.
Please, please don't do this to your children. Encourage a loving relationship with their father. If he is not interested, insist for the childrens sake.
And you keep your friends and family close by for support.

[Mortisha]

My opinion on this texting BS........I feel it gives the other partner a reason to be suspicious and I hate it. My fiance uses his all the time and it drives me crazy. Get out of the phone and live your life!!! (Just my opinion)

[Losingit361]

Well, last nite after the game he sent me a text asking what I wanted to do...I went off on him...basically blowing up his phone. Well, he text back. "I wasn't asking to come back, just wanted to know if he needed to get a lawyer or if I had already filed." What a jerk!! Then, top it off..I pretty sure he took his new GF to one of our oldest friends house to watch the game. I'm so hurt. He wouldn't say if he did or not, its just a feeling I have and he won't say no either. He just keeps avoiding the question.
He swears he's not cheating on me, but has no plans to leave her house either. What a liar! Anyway, gonna try to just be nice for my kids sake. I just want out and knowing that when I do find someone else, it will kill him will give me such pleasure. It's okay for him to cheat and talk to others, but me...oh it will kill him.