[Guest]

[QUOTE=CHEZZA;152194]T

. . .

He knows exactly how I feel about him, that I love him, miss him and just want us to work things out but there are only so many times you can say it especially when all you get back is tears and "Im not ready to come back".

. . .
/QUOTE]

you say it as often and for as long as you mean it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He stated something to you..

"Dating".

Mid life crisis or not. It does appear on the most part, when people change from "dating" to "married life", the woman does go about cleaning, cooking, tending to everything, whilst still working whilst the man goes about working, coming home, putting his feet up Sound familiar?

That may be the way things were done in the oldern days, bar the fact that women mainly didn't work as well though but it's not in my eyes, the way to have a fantastic marriage, it does become distant, it does become mundane and it does become, OMG I'm married in the truest sense.. All the butterflies, all the laughter, excitement goes out the window as we simply get into routine.

He mentioned dating, he's living on his own in an appartment, your living in your house, his job may be harder, much harder than the previous one and stress may have played a part in all of this as well, he's at a cross road of living alone isn't as much fun either.

Don't do the " I won't initiate contact" your pushing yourself away.

Do, continue to say I love you but add something funny in every day that happened to you, as if your dating..

And, If I can suggest, he has his place, you have yours, start the romance all over again, suggest that a couple times a week he invite you over for a movie, for dinner, you'll bring the candles and sexy underwear Tell him it's time you both went backwards in order to go forwards, and go back mentally to when you both first dated...

It could actually be a perfect thing at present, swallow your pride both of you and turn this into a new adventure without rules, without planning, he has to ask you over for that date, not plan that it will be every Tuesday for instance... Get yourselves out of the rut.

For you start taking long baths, with candles, a glass of wine, polish your nails, be indendant, girly nights as well as a night with the girls and tell him of your adventures, let him see that you can actually take "me" time as well, after all your not cooking for two, cleaning for two and there are no children...

Start a hobby if you can...

I can see this working if you both just let go of all the routine and wonder when you are going to next "date" and what you will do....

CW

[GoodEgg]

That is *such* good advice, CW, that I think I'm going to adopt it as soon as I'm out the door of that house!

[CHEZZA]

Thanx CW. problem is he hasnt kept his end of the bargain and started any of the "dating". We have been for one night out that was cut short by bad weather and for a meal once since he left? He doesnt seem to be making any effort to sort this out so is it that he's lost interest or that he's working on himself first before he can worry about us? He wont talk about "us", he just chats normally as though there isnt a problem! The no contact thing last week sparked something as he rang and text loads over the weekend then called again las night to see if I was ok (ive hurt my ribs and shoulder) which is all good but chatting on the phone and texting isnt a marriage, we need to spend time together if we are going to fix this but he just doesnt seem bothered. Maybe he needs more time, I dont know????