[stressed]

I would Never, do something like messing with his car, that is escalation. And could get you into legal trouble.
But your bf could make some remarks - again, I would do this sort of thing where others can hear, for a variety of reasons - "Hey my fiancee it starting to think we've got something kinky going on." Or "Are you trying to get me to like you? A nice bot of wine would work better"

Actually, I did tell my family about this tonight and the first thought of each one of them was "are you sure it's a male colleague at work? Is this man gay?", so I can play the kinkiness card.

As for the car, yes, it is far fetched and won't solve the issue. But I do find violence against a person unacceptable in any form and if he crosses the line even further so will I. Stupid, I know, but I want to treat people in the same way as they treat others, they don't deserve anything better than that. If he thinks it is 'funny' to play with fire then he will get burned.

[stressed]

It's just that I have a very strong sense of justice and what irritates me the most in others is stupidity. Now that injustice and stupidity are combined in one person there's a "red alert" flashing in my head...

[rcoreyus]

Not acceptable workplace behavior, and the co-worker may be gay. That puts this under sexual harassment laws, and puts the company at serious risk for a lawsuit.

The "Sorry, I'm not gay and don't like being pinched by guys" might work - but lots of people are too shy to say something like that (this is why harassment happens in the workplace).



The problem is the same whether the victim is male or female, many people are too embarased to report harassment. They don't want to look like they are complaining, and want to "fit it".

[stressed]

Update: He just called me from work, so I asked how it's been going with that guy. He said "I talked to him and he stopped, but I can see that he still wants to but doesn't dare".
What he told the guy: "If you continue you will get an angry text from my girlfriend".

I am not 100% sure that this is going to stop, he might forget about it and do it again, but then he'd be disrespectful and a big bully. I've met him a few times and if nothing else, knowing that I am bothered by it should make him stop. Otherwise I will be offended and not respect him that much anymore.

Not the best choice of words though, I can tell he was too scared to tell him "stop it, I am not gay, do that to your boyfriend instead" and kind of made it seem "my fault for ruining their fun", but anyway, as long as he stops it's something.

But seriously, what kind of man pinches workmates on a daily basis? It's beyond comprehension.

[Little]

That's a poor choice of words to get it to stop.
He needs to lay it out as harassment. He needs to establish a consequence.
But from the short thread so far, I don't think he'll do it - without extreme persuasion.

[Explorer44]

I think it was great that he listened to you that this was upsetting, and that he dealt with it. I agree with you that this is bizarre behavior. I can tell you I sure wouldn't be letting anyone do that to me at my office! How strange!


Glad it's stopped!

[stressed]

And, oh my, as soon as I started talking about it when he came back, saying 'what kind of man does that, is he gay or an idiot?" he started defending him saying he has a very high IQ, is a really smart and nice guy, I shouldn't be talking like that... I asked him a couple of times if he was enjoying that, said "no...but..it wasn't anything serious". He actually turned a little bit grumpy for a few minutes but I let him be.

The point wasn't for his friends to be scared of me (I'm a small person anyway, I can't physically harm a man, but his friends do like me), but for him to deal with it as a man...Oh well, better be considered the "bad one" and make it stop than be considered a saint and let him go on... it wasn't the best for him though. He must be able to stand up for himself. If it would have happened to me I doubt he'd do much about it...not because he doesn't care, but because he's 'scared' of confrontations.

[stressed]

Not acceptable workplace behavior, and the co-worker may be gay. That puts this under sexual harassment laws, and puts the company at serious risk for a lawsuit.

The "Sorry, I'm not gay and don't like being pinched by guys" might work - but lots of people are too shy to say something like that (this is why harassment happens in the workplace).

The problem is the same whether the victim is male or female, many people are too embarased to report harassment. They don't want to look like they are complaining, and want to "fit it".

I told him exactly that today, that when it happens the victim doesn't dare say anything because he/she wants to fit in the group and this goes on forever. I also compared it to school bullying, where most of these bullies do what they do and say "I'm only joking" and don't stop. At least he agreed with a few nods...