[Dazed&Confused]

My husband has a girl friend he has know for a long time. They went to school together and have been friends ever since.
The other night I caught him online with her talking dirty and . Is it wrong of me to get up set? He says nothing was meant by it... This is the second time we have gone through this. At this point I'm not sure how I should feel about it anymore. Can someone please give me there input? There was more then just talking going on...
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I talked with him about it and he has not spoke to her since but now he is talk with another friend in the same way. She write things about him that makes me think there is more going on. I don't know if I can do this anymore. Maybe I'm crazy but I just thought if he loved me this wouldn't be going on.

[kaylar]

I'd like to know what you mean by talking dirty.
I'll tell you why...
a friend and I were discussing someone else
and got kind of raunchy about him...to be honest...
now...
there's nothing at all sexual between me and my
friend, never was, never will be. I know his wife,
I know his baby, he knows my husband, he knows
my children...and I've known him for nearly twenty
years as well.

If my husband had seen the remarks we were passing
about this other person, tossing in a few personal
bits as spice, he might have felt 'SOMETHING IS
GOING ON!' when nothing was.

One might consider the discussion certainly X rated...
but it wasn't the kind of...I want to &^^* to your *(&^
for if that is what you saw, well, that is different.

And enough would be enough.

[Guest]

totally not good

hello well if it was me I'd be ****ed and he would hear about it the trust would be gone possible the relationship aswell. sorry to hear that hope this helps.
Pam

[Guest]

The question is would he be mad if you did the same thing?

[mom23kidz1]

The question is would he be mad if you did the same thing?

yes very good ???
I think he would.

[housewife]

that was wrong

online chatting with the opposite sex is unacceptable for me
even if it was friendly conversation.
something will lead to another.
that is not a good sign ,
if there was nothing going on , why did not he tell you
that he was chatting with her,
why he had to hide from you??

[kaylar]

I agree with housewife, but a with a caveat...
there are those one speaks with on line
who could be 19 or 99 and it has no import.
It is a friendly discussion.

The person could be female, male, a mix
of the two, it means nothing because the
discussion is the key issue.

As soon as it becomes genital talk then
the sex of the people moves to the fore
and unless it is a kind of advice situation...
then what is going on?

I have deep discussions with a number of
men on line and their wives could be sitting
next to them, or participating, because
there is nothing being discussed that she
could not be sitting in the same room.

So there is a line there.

[housewife]

Hello Kaylar,
I always read your comments,
I appreciate your trying to help other women by your wise advice.
Anyway, the line with chatting on line is
your spouse should be aware of the whole conversation,
if every word you wrote your husband had to read and he was fine with it,
that is surely acceptable.
but chatting with the opposite sex behind your spouse's back and
get involved with hot conversations, is definitely way beyond the line.
which is the case in this story.

[kaylar]

Housewife, that is the key point.

'Hiding' has to provoke suspicions..
the thing I'm alert to, however is the
syntax.

For example, I sent a kid an under firewall
hack so he could get on a particular site
his school had banned.

"I Love You!" he sends back.

I emailed a set of instructions for a complicated
process to a colleague and he writes;

"I have no choice but to marry you, please
meet me at the Registrar's Office tomorrow at
nine a.m."

Now you have to view these responses in context.

[housewife]

Funny

As I was reading your response , when I reached that you collague tells you "I have no choice but to marry you"
I had to laugh out loud
That was so funny
it sounded very friendly and innocent.
of course that wouldn't provoke your husband.

Thank you for making me smile on Monday.