[maro87]

whenever i post my problem in any site no one answers me i know its complicated but how shall i receive help??
im 23 and i loved a boy his 24,he stayed my bf for 3 years and then we were engaged,we both luv each other madly but he is diabetic type 1,has been diagnosed when he was 5 years old,now my parents are against our marriage because they fear he may not be able 2 satisfy me sexually as diabetes may bring erectile dysfunction problems,i live in a country where i wouldnt be able 2 marry him without my parents approval,im fighting with them but useless,and im losing my man now because he doesnt know whats the real reason for their objection(i didnt tell him bec he's diabetic bec i know it would hurt him a lot)but im burning from inside i dont wana lose him and now he's trying 2 stay away from me though he still loves me but bec he's desperate and its hurting him too,
are my parents right?? am i going 2 hurt myself if i risked my life by marrying a diabetic man?? and if not shall i watch him walking away and just burn my eyes with tears??
please help me it really kills me

[Mes T]

I don't know much about diabetes, but as long as he does his best to take care of his body under the circumstances... I really don't think your sex life will suffer.

[WildChild]

I don't know what we can tell you. If your laws, traditiontions and culture require that you have your parents approval it doesn't sound like there is much you can do. This must be very difficult for both of you.

[blowfish]

i understand, i live in a same culture......
anyway why dont u see a doctor to know about diabetic, asked your parent to come and hear what the doctor said, if the doctor said it's gonna be fine for both of you i dont think your parent don't have any reason against you,(if diabetic its the only reason) and make sure that the only way U can be happy it's with him
good luck

[sunshiney]

One of my best friends is dating a guy with diabetes, he's had it since he was really little, and according to her they have an amazing sex life. I don't know how you feel about it, but in my relationship honesty and communication is always the best bet. Maybe just talking to him about the issue would let him see the real reason for you pulling away from him and he could do something (go to a doctor to assure his parents) so the two of you could be together. Good luck!!!

[pretzel]

whenever i post my problem in any site no one answers me i know its complicated but how shall i receive help??
im 23 and i loved a boy his 24,he stayed my bf for 3 years and then we were engaged,we both luv each other madly but he is diabetic type 1,has been diagnosed when he was 5 years old,now my parents are against our marriage because they fear he may not be able 2 satisfy me sexually as diabetes may bring erectile dysfunction problems,i live in a country where i wouldnt be able 2 marry him without my parents approval,im fighting with them but useless,and im losing my man now because he doesnt know whats the real reason for their objection(i didnt tell him bec he's diabetic bec i know it would hurt him a lot)but im burning from inside i dont wana lose him and now he's trying 2 stay away from me though he still loves me but bec he's desperate and its hurting him too,
are my parents right?? am i going 2 hurt myself if i risked my life by marrying a diabetic man?? and if not shall i watch him walking away and just burn my eyes with tears??
please help me it really kills me

The only way type 1 could have an effect is if he's not taking his insulin correctly. It's an on going process to be sure, but one that isn't life threatening if he takes control of it.

It is very true that uncontrolled diabetes will have some very severe consequences over a long period. I've seen first hand what that can do. It's not a pretty sight.

Are your parents willing to at least read literature on diabetes and effectively controlling it? If they are, their opinions may change. If not, then I don't think there's much you can do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Studies have shown that if blood glucose and cholesterol levels, and blood pressure are kept within normal limits, the risk of damage to the body is reduced.

It is true, it can be controlled.

What if the next man had a mild form of Cancer? They would tell you you can't marry him as he may leave you as a widow at a young age.

We all have something, are born with a generic problem that will catch up with us later in life, there is no "crystal ball"..

Are you sure that they are worried about your sex life? Or, how many Grandchildren you have or don't have for them? Not to be rude, but is it possible that they are worried on that note?

I agree, google and study the decease, and I am sure you will see that whilst it is a possibility, 1 in 15 people have diabetes, that means the next man may have it too, if you are in love, then shout it to the world, their world, and prove to them that it could be the next person as well, and the next, and show them how manageable it is, if not you, a Doctor... but I wouldn't be giving up yet, I always fight for my rights, my wants, if I know them to be correct and real.

CW

[maro87]

i do shout, fight, and cry,i do everything but its a whole year full of fights and my fiance started 2 loose hope and he started 2 act cold with me although he still loves me but he's desperate and what hurts him is that he doesnt know the real reason behind this refusal,i really dont know am i hurting him by telling him that there is still a hope and that im still trying 2 do my best with my parents 2 convince them??

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Some people, run... and live their own lives.... which is hard, because, your on the run and secondly, you have to make a choice, a man, or the family...

Love is a big word so you must always, know in your heart that you could never find another, this is it, he is it.. And, this comes from the way he treats you as well, not just your heart.

If you were to get pregnant, heaven forbid, would they dis-own you? Or would they "tell you to get married?"...

If you were to rebel and move out with they dis-own you? For life? And, how would that be?

Marriage is a piece of paper, one that can maybe be forced by the will of circumstances, or one that never has to happen, yet love never dies does it?

Only you can decide if there is a way around this that your willing to take

CW

[kira]

My whole family is diabetic. It's not really considered a big deal here. The only thing I could think of is like someone mentioned get some good info from doctors and show them that diabetes is fully manageable and not that serious. There are a whole heck of a lot of other reasons which can be predicted that could cause erectile disfunction and plenty of other things that could have an even greater impact on your happiness and sexual satisfaction than one person just having a treateable physical problem.

Beyond that though there really is nothing anyone can tell you. If you want to follow a culture where you need parent approval and your parents will not approve then what advice is left? You can either turn your back on them and hope they eventually forgive one day or accept it and hope you find someone else you can love. Neither is a good option but if you've failed to convince them that's pretty much what you've got left.