[nikky]

I got married 3yrs ago. when we where dating my husband gave me the impression that he worked and had his own company.
I have a very demanding Job so i really dnt have time to check him up in his office.
You could imagine how i felt when we finally got married and i discovered that not only dose he not have any company, he had no job..
He was just living from hand to mouth. he was atually looking for someone to lay this financial problems on...I felt really decived and used.
It became obvious to me that he just wanted to marry some one who worked and would provide all his need.
Knw i have two kids, i do everything in the house.
I bought a car( am still paying the loan), paid our rent, provide food for the house.
Every single thing my chldren want i provide. he just dosent care.
All he dose is stay at home, watch telly, hang out with his friends, dream of thing he cant reach, he has good aspirations but he never puts any effort in making them come to reality.
I have introduced him to people i knw would help him, put it always seems am the one pushing him to do anything.
Am tired of taking care of all the problems. I want to lay down too and have some one provide all my needs.
Some times i just fell like taking off, but when i think of my kids 2yrs and 4mths i just stay put and put up with everything.
It so difficult especially knw with the whole resession thing.
I live for work as early as 5am and get back home around 6;30pm. I have to pay a nanny to take care of my kids.
I really hate my husband so much.. I resent him..It is something for some one to try and make something work but there is no result yet, than for you not to give a damm and just knws that no matter what there is always something for you to eat and some were for you to sleep..
Am i the only one with this kind of problem? How am i going to solve it.
Am only happy when am around my kids. The job is stressful, after a very hard day at work i come back home everyday to a man that dosent care. i have borrowed, begged just to put things food on the table for my family.
Am physically tried. I cant continue like this for my childrens sake.
I need help..

[sourpuss]

You have to pay a nanny even though he's home all day?! What?
His laziness aside, he's dishonest and manipulative. Is he the father of your youngest? If not, my advice would be to cut your losses and run while you still can. And make sure your assets are protected.

[Ashlee T.]

I cant continue like this for my childrens sake

So why are you continuing?

This is not a marriage. This is not love.

This is a man who deceived you into marrying him and it was wrong from the get go. You have two children, so you stay? But what good is it doing the children for you to stay? And what good is it doing you?

From what you posted, you have no reason to stay, and EVERY reason to go. Your happiness and the happiness of your children depend on it.

[sarahlee20]

sounds like the life i would of had with my ex fiance.good luck

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He deceived you from day dot....

If he had no job/no money, surely there were signs all the way through, a man with a Company, drives a car, he pays for dinner, he dresses differently... we often "miss" our intuition.. perferring to be "happy" only to become "Un-happy"...

He lied to you.
He's using you.

Two kids or 10, your better of on your own and respecting yourself, by walking and finding someone to love you, when that time comes....

If your paying for everything now, then there is no difference.

But, respecting yourself, will give you some relief...

Enough to stand on your own two feet and find your way again..

Good luck.. and think about it.

CW

[p3375]

You have to pay a nanny even though he's home all day?! What?
His laziness aside, he's dishonest and manipulative. Is he the father of your youngest? If not, my advice would be to cut your losses and run while you still can. And make sure your assets are protected.

YES! See the above, read, think, do!
Oh, and no, he will NEVER change. No matter how hard you wish it -

[PBMama]

If you are already paying for everything and doing everything then what is the point? Specially if you are paying for a nanny!

I am going through something similar but totally different at the same time. I wish you luck in your situation and will keep you and your children in my prayers.

[nikky]

Thanks everybody...Sometimes you really need to hear from others to know what to do?
I really appreciate your advices.
I left him before after the birth of my first daughter.
But everybody in my family thought i was'nt giving him a chance. I was'nt being a good wife. I abandoned my husband and all that, i had to go back when it was obvious it was my problem, after all they where not totally in surpport of the marriage in the 1st place.
Know am trying to put things in place, like a new appartment and school for my daughter. This time when i work am not comming back...

[PBMama]

Good for you Nikki!!! You deserve a good man. After 2 divorces I understand how hard it is to start over. Specially with kids. BUT You are a strong woman and I have faith that you can do this! It will be well worth it in the long run because after the 2 horrible marriages that I had. I found the love of my life. He is kind and has not said a harsh word to me in the 4 years that we have been together. He loves my children as if they were his own and I know that he will always be there for them no matter what. We do have our own problems but they are minor ones that can be fixed. Just remember when you find your special man that will treat you with respect. It does take some work and it wont always be easy. However even in the darkest times you will be thankful for him and that you did not stay with someone who was sucking the life out of you! *HUGS* If you ever need to vent, emotional support, or just want to talk feel free to shoot me a message