[tinydancer]

How do you rebuild trust in a marriage?

I love my husband, but I am having trust issues.
He has giving me reasons to loose it now and a few times in the pass.
A one night stand, many years(7) ago. Due to drinking which he stopped all together. Until this pass February, on a trip he had a few which led to a situation with a strip club.
I am seeing a counselor, which brought out so many feelings that I do not like. I love my husband. But do not know what to do.

[caterpillar79]

As I understood, you go to counseling alone. Do you both go on a separate ocassion?

[Faerunner]

Did he do anything in the strip club other than watch? Go alone, or with a group (peer pressure)? Has he given you reason to distrust him or think him unreliable in other parts of the marriage?

Trust is very hard to replace once it's gone. Only time and a record of trustworthy actions can help in most cases. Counseling is good for you, but you may want to bring your husband along so that he can air some of his feelings and hear yours in a moderated environment. Also consider if he is really sorry for it, or do you have reason to suspect he'll do it again? If he is truly sorry (and it seems like he would be!) then I would try to forgive, accept that he does love and respect you and move on as best you can. Mistakes can be worked through but holding grudges can kill the relationship.

Of course if he's not sorry or you think he'll do it again even if he -is- sorry, you might want to think about a couples counselor.