[Guest]

hey guys!
i was thinking which is the better way in a relationship. if you are in a relationship what would you prefer engagement and then wedding or direct wedding?
share your ideas

[grrrr]

It depends on who you are. I was engaged for years before we tied the knot.... I'm like the "anti-girl" when it comes to wedding stuff.... I didn't want the big wedding thing - it just seemed like a waste of money for me.... but that's my thing. Everyone is different, and for some people, the big wedding is something that's very important. I mean, it is a huge committment, and hopefully the ONLY wedding that you'll have!

I was thrilled to get my wedding band though! I kind of love the bling on my finger, but didn't need to have some huge celebration for it.

[Ashlee T.]

I can never see myself having some big planned out wedding. But yeah, I'd like an engagement period. It's a good time for some decision making and to get everything out on the table if you haven't already.

[grrrr]

the wedding can be such a sticky situation. Not only do you have to deal with whatever the two of you want (which is the most important part) but sometimes family can just become major buttinskies.... and try to steer you into something that you may not want.

Stick to your guns. There's nothing wrong with the JOP if that's what you want. At the end of the day, it's your marriage, your lives together, and your wedding.

[jns]

I don't understand multiple year engagements. Short engagement or direct wedding.

[Mes T]

Short engagement (not more than one year) and very small wedding... possibly elopement!

I don't EVER want to be one of those women who runs around barking at her fiance "Did you send out the invitations?? What flavor cake should we have???!!"... Seems so anti-climactic to me.

[LanaBear]

My personal opinion... Whatever floats your boat. Weddings are overrated, they take too much stress, effort and planning. All for pleasing others and not yourselves. Do what pleases YOU, don't worry about what others do.

[grrrr]

Short engagement (not more than one year) and very small wedding... possibly elopement!

I don't EVER want to be one of those women who runs around barking at her fiance "Did you send out the invitations?? What flavor cake should we have???!!"... Seems so anti-climactic to me.

I know that there are people who are "anti multi year engagements" - which clearly I had! But I totally agree... could never "bark" - while the wedding is probably one of the most important things that we do as a couple, it doesn't have to be a spectacle.

You should live in your comfort zone. I wouldn't change my low-key wedding for anything.... although I think that my mom wanted something a little bigger, though she respected my decision. GO JOP! (but always register, why not???)

[Guest]

thank you for your lovely opinions. it was an interesting post

[pretzel]

Well since I've done both, I'll throw my 2 cents in,

The big wedding serves it's purpose, but not necessarily for the bride and groom. Yeah some brides lavish in the attention of all that surrounds the wedding and reception. But as was pointed out it's just as much for the families as it is for the actual couple. Deal with it. Chances are it's the brides parents paying for it and they'll usually have their own demands. It's the parents chance to show off to both the rest of the each other families as well as their friends.

Second time around was just for us. We've been there, done that, got the bill. We just had our kids and other close family with us. No church, no reception, just us.