[starlightlou]

Iv Ordered The Book An It Comes Tomorrow Hopefully It Will Help

[starlightlou]

Hey Sorry The Lazer Isnt Costing £1000 Its Nealy £2000 Witch Is A Lot Hes Been Lie In To Me

[starlightlou]

He Went Mad Wen I Told Him Iv Ordered The Book I Dont Know What To Do Anymore Because Everythin Just Gets Thrown Back In My Face Should I Leave Him To Deal With I Alone?

[Magnetism]

I think that BDD is one of those disorders that people are embarrassed about. It's not something to be ashamed to talk about whatsoever.

I have recovered from BDD, and a lot of us have said that we endured family, friends and therapists that thought our problems were stupid or didn't get it.

Don't get me wrong... there are supportive and compassionate people out there that understand it. I think we're just conscious about who we disclose it too. I know I don't want to hear "Everybody thinks about how they look. Big deal!" or "There are worse problems out there, and you're worrying about how you look?"

[starlightlou]

I Don't Really Fully Understand I'm Trying To UnderStand For My Fiance's Sake. Its Him That As BDD. So How Long Did It Take You To Recover From BDD My Fiance As Been Like This For Way Over A Year And Half Now He Is Trying To Do Something About It But Not Hard Enough. Its Like He's Just Wants All These Lasers And No Help At All I'm Just Worried He Aint Going To Stop Having Laser Treatments

[Magnetism]

I Don't Really Fully Understand I'm Trying To UnderStand For My Fiance's Sake. Its Him That As BDD. So How Long Did It Take You To Recover From BDD My Fiance As Been Like This For Way Over A Year And Half Now He Is Trying To Do Something About It But Not Hard Enough. Its Like He's Just Wants All These Lasers And No Help At All I'm Just Worried He Aint Going To Stop Having Laser Treatments

A good 10 years, BUT only b/c it was so hard to get the support that I needed. When living with my parents, they didn't want me to get therapy or medication. I was told to just "forget about it and cure myself." Finding a therapist that understood BDD was very difficult too.

I did a lot of self-help from BDDcentral.com and workbooks, but finding the right therapist sped up my recovery. I know some people that have improved quickly and didn't take 10 years.

[starlightlou]

Well We Live Together And Im Trying To Help Him He Is Going The Doctors On Thirsday. So Thats Good Even His Mum Is Trying To Help Sometimes He Dont Want Our Help. I Feel Like Iv Just Got To Be There For Him An Let Him Help His Self. Hopefully Things Will Get Better From Next Week. Because Hes Going In For A Full Laser On Sat On His Face Fingers Crosses It Helps Him Get Better

[eleni]

im glad people are trying to help him.
but this is a serious psychiatric disorder, it wont just go away with some reassurance from friends and family.
the general problem with it is that to the person suffering with it its not just an idea
its the truth
and its VERY hard to convince them otherwise.
like, okay when i get truly manic, i get delusional
i AM god, i DO have special powers; its just a fact, not up for discussion it just *is*
its that species of illness rather than just insecurity.

life can be made considerably better with therapy and medication
but a generic councellor wont, in my experience, be able to help that much.

i dont think that laser treatment is going to make him get better.
the laser treatment he's having is a symptom of the BDD.

i met someone in hospital who was utterly convinced that her mouth was lopsided
it was pathological, she just would not accept that she wasnt hideously deformed
the reason she was in hospital was that she'd tried to 'even it up' with a scalpel at home and was sectioned.
im not trying to be overdramatic and scare you
i dont think that you understand how bad it can get.

getting the book is a good step, he might not be ready for it now but having it around means that he can read it if he wants to.
if things are getting worse you may just have to drag him to a doctor.
people who have this condition and access to money/cosmetic surgery can get into huge amounts of debt trying to make themselves feel okay.

sorry, im all gloom and doom
people DO recover from it.
with the right help people do get better

i hope that your fiance will be one of them

good luck x

[starlightlou]

Thank You For The Advice He Went The Doctors Yesderday They Never Give Him Anythin Just Said Glad You Come. But You Need To Tell Your Counceler About Your Bdd Problem She Can Help I Know Laser Wont Help Him Much. But There Aint Nothin I Cant Do He Wont Listern To Me Hes Going A Head With It Tomorrow Im Very Worried. An Yes It Can Get You In Debt Witch We Will Be 1500 Hundred Pound For You Face Is A Lot Of Money. We Dont Have Much As It Is. I Dont Know Were To Start Helping Him And I Dont Know What To Do I Dont Like Seeing Him Like This. I Know Its Not Go Away Quick Hes Been Like This A Year An Half. Having Laser Last Time Made Him Worse. Im Worried For Tomorrow Now

[eleni]

wait you're in the uk right?

okay what you have to try and do is get him referred to the community mental health team.
basically GP's are generally rubbish with any mental health type problem (though a few of them are beyond brilliant) and will try and refer you to a generic councellor - which is great for mild depression/money worries stuff like that but not much use for other conditions.
you will almost certainly have to make a scene and demand that they refer him.

to put it into perspective; when my boyfriend went properly mad and didnt eat or wash or leave his room for two weeks because he thought someone was spying on him
i had to physically drag him to the GP who then said that he could have some fluoxetine (prozac) and would he like to see a councellor?
so i told them in no uncertain terms that what we needed were crisis people and the mental health team and eventually after about half an hour of arguing they referred him then and there.

if he wont accept that there is a problem you can still bring him to the attention of those services
i've done it for my boyfriend and he's done it for me. they cant forcibly do anything but then at least they are aware of whats going on.

you could try putting it to him like this - i know you think that your face is awful beyond belief but we cant afford the £1500 for the laser HOWEVER you know that if you do have a fixable problem which is affecting your life to the point that you're getting truly depressed about it YOU CAN GET IT ON THE NHS.
i know its quite a sneaky way of going about it but it might lead him to open up about how he truly feels and then they'll refer him because its obviously not a normal level of worry.

good luck!

x