[fiona82collin]

We went for counselling!

Thanks all for your replies!
CW thanks for the advise. We went for counselling.I thought I should accompany in first one to assure that he attends it.
It really made a lot of difference! I don't say that I could ever forget what all I had gone through, and it doesn't change my decisions, but the psychoanalyst was great. She picked out things from his remote past and told him what he was doing was wrong in a very nice way(which I could never convince him).
She gave him tips how to control his anger.How to direct his negative energy into positive things.
His parents are now ready to come here.
HD, I will not go back to him till he improves himself. Whatever the reasons had been but he is still responsible for his actions.
And WT, I know it is very hard to go through all this. It is an emotional prison. You people are not married yet, so better go for counselling and see if he improves. If I could go back in time, I would have done that before our marriage and could have postponed marriage for quite long or cancelled it if he didn't improve.
No one should go through all this!

[rhiannon34]

Be careful, for insecure, co-dependent men, the worse he treats you, and the more you pull away emotionally, the worse the raging will become. He is addicted to you, just like all the other things, he will not take it well if you start to pull away.

[fiona82collin]

I can't decide on anything

I can't decide on anything. His parents are not coming now and if they come they want me to stay here. Went to cousin, he tried his best but no solutions. Seems like beating women is a casual thing in this family. I made myself quite clear that I am not going to accept it. We came back, my husband won't let me go,he is saying that I am free to go back if anything even near to this happens again.
We are waiting for counselling sessions. I feel I have been trapped in my own emotions.He wants me to be there,but really doesn't have any feelings for me and that would drive me insane. I am not feeling strong enough. Maybe I need to go for counselling.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Fiona,

I am a bit confused about your post above.

Sounds like you tried to get people to surround you but they haven't and you've established that "physical abuse" runs in his family?

And, that he is emotionally blackmailing you to stay but you feel that he has no feelings for you?

What about your family? Where are they? Can you go to them?

CW

[fiona82collin]

Hi! Sorry I did not check my mails earlier. I did decide to get a change for myself so went to my parents place. Husband had his counselling sessions for anger management and now we are continuing with the marriage counselling.
He seems to have changed a lot and we have decided to be following certain rules,so we are having lesser arguments now( I hope it stays like this).
I think counselling is changing him and helping him to cope with his anger. I hope things go in the right direction because I want to concentrate on my career now!
Thanks for all your support!

[jns]

I hope everything works out for the two of you. Good luck.