[weebebo]

hi i have been with my partner for 8 years and we have a 5month old baby.years ago i found some gay things on his pc i asked him about it but he just laughed n said he was just lookin. i asked him if he was gay and he went mental and we fell out.He recently told me like two days ago in a drunken convo that he was bi.He had been with a man before and dun things with other men too.He tells me he wants me but then he doesnt really no if in the future he will want to be with a man agian.I am scared of losing him becoz he is my life but howd i deal with this?I have told him if he wants to be single n experiment more thats fine but there wuld b no goin bk with us.He tells me loves me loads n am the women for him n that he cant see himsef being in a relationship with a man but hes still curious to be with a man since hes only had intercourse once with a man.wat do i do wev spoke for days and nuffin seems to make sense for either of us.please a need sum advice xx

[jns]

If he had told you he was with another woman and wants to be with other women, would you have reacted the same way? He wants an open relationship, but a gay one. Do you want this?

[weebebo]

well yeh coz a pro would of said if hes not happy with me then a would let him go to be with another women.he tells me am the one he wants but he also wants the experience to.hes so confused he says he can see me in his future but he also wants best of both worlds which im not prepared to give him that its not fair on me or the child.My baby is only 5 months old i just wish he told me this b4 a got pregnant as i want al my kids with the same guy its just such a shocker.

[rcoreyus]

His being Bi doesn't give him any more right to cheat than if here were straight. If you both agree you can have an "open" relationship - but that doesn't work well for most people.

You are absolutely right that he should have told you before you had a child together.

[Iseulda]

His being Bi doesn't give him any more right to cheat than if here were straight. If you both agree you can have an "open" relationship - but that doesn't work well for most people.

I agree - if he can't commit to you then it doesn't matter if the 'other' he wants is other men or other women.

as i want al my kids with the same guy

I understand that and why you'd want it - but life just doesn't always work out that way. Healthy kids with a loving family environment is a blessing. Having 2+ kids by the same man is no reason to stay in an unworkable marriage.

Have a talk with your husband again when there is no drink taken. Explain to him that you need fidelity and you just can't give him permission to explore his desire for men and stay true to yourself. He has to choose.

[weebebo]

ok so i asked him to leave on monday and its so wierd a feel lost a cant consentrate on nuffin.He keeps tellin me he wants me but a cant give him his sexual favouritism.hes been so selfish a feel like am dangilin on abit of string.a dont no wat to do a keep tellin him to go and see someone to talk to but he wont agree i am out of ideas.i feel av lost my childhood coz wev been the gether since i was 13.my babys innocence aswel hes goin to miss it all.i didnt image i would ever be a single mum i dont no how am gna cope!I cant compete with another man.Say we do get back together and we become 'happy' agin wats to say in a few years time after more kids marriage etc hes goin to turn around and say that he has made a mistake and it is a guy he wants.or we split up and he goes with men and again in a few years time he tells me he wants me back and hes made a mistake with that?am so confused my world has been completly turned upside down in the space of a few days.do u think i should just leave or do you think there could still be a chance of us bein happy?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So sweet, your 21?

You noticed something years ago, geez 13 years of age when you met? I guess at that age you wouldn't understand, a lie...

But didn't he lie to you then? Didn't he get mad with you and you had an arguement?

Can I ask how old he is?

He is saying irrespective that he can not commit to you totally that he may wish to sleep with "someone" be it a woman or a man, it is still "someone".

Your trust is lost, but you know you saw the signs and you hoped and that's okay.

I agree that two "parents" no matter where they go in life is the importance, don't let him leave your life/ your child's life, what ever you decide.

You say 8 years, and you say since you were 13, so you are young and you have one child, you can find the love you want in life, so don't fear that.

CW

[weebebo]

yeh am 22 in 2weeks wat a birthday present lol hes 23.i think he lied to himself for so many years and used me as a cover up but then y is he sayin he wants me n ma daughter and then sayin he wants the sexualness of a man.I told him i think hes goin to turn out guy later in life once he has experienced more men.this is so hard.he is scewing with my head.i understand how hurt he is but its all about him rite now.i have to think wats best for my girl n me but i just dont no wat to do.we had a year apart and he went out with another girl and he couldnt get me out his head so we decided to get back together it was the hardest part being away from him and now am losing him all over again.he says he would be faithfull but he would probaly still want another man in his head!am i being stupid for still hoping there is a chance????You said i would find love again but i dont want anyone else.av always wanted him!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

used me as a cover up but then y is he sayin he wants me n ma daughter and then sayin he wants the sexualness of a man

Well, because being bi, gay, or otherwise, isn't a child their life as well?

he would be faithfull but he would probaly still want another man in his head!am i being stupid for still hoping there is a chance????You said i would find love again but i dont want anyone else.av always wanted him!

Then he is saying, he would "try" but he may want to "try" He is asking you to accept. You know sweet, you WILL find love again, geepers your 22... I found it at 46, and the best love I have every found, just when I decided all me were.... and quit... And aren't you settling? Don't know better, 22, first love, 13, he's telling you, well yeah I love you and my child but I want to go the other way somewhere down the track and that's okay in my books, cause it's a man, not like I am cheating but he is.....

What do you deserve?

CW