[PJhavinfunagain]

Think about this, Yes you will be sad if you leave him, yes it will be hard but... Do you want your daughter to grow up seeing what this man is doing to you both? Do you want her to learn it is OK to be in this type of relationship?

[Tamar]

Thanks again for your comments – again it means a lot to me that you would take time to let me know what you think.
You are right….I don’t think he does see me and I also think you are right that he feels he has it made with me. It is true and I can see it, so why don’t I have the strength to walk away.
I can see that he is not good for me and know that he is breaking my heart, but then I keep wondering why our marriage was blessed with this beautiful baby girl. I am trying to convince myself that she was sent to me…my blessing….to give me the strength to walk away from this marriage.
He has often admitted to me that he feels that I am spoilt by my parents, when my parents just do things that parents do for their children….he of course never had that, so sees the support my parents give me as being spoilt. So I agree with you that it’s probably easier for him to relate to her.
Our daughter does have the right to be happy and I don’t want her growing up and living his pain. I try to be very positive in life, even when things go wrong, but he is very negative. He also often says how he hates himself….I don’t want her learning this negativity either. Life is too precious and too short.
I don’t want her growing up seeing and feeling the pain he puts me through.
And I don’t want to walk around with his guilt and anger anymore….it is eating me up inside.
I have the most precious gift and should just focus all my energies on her and shower her with all the love I have to give. Again I just wish I could dig deep enough to walk away

[PJhavinfunagain]

You may not think you can do the right thing, but Many of us here KNOW you can! Many have been there and did not think they could either. JUST do it (whatever that may be) to make a life for you and your daughter.

[Tamar]

I am still here in this marriage. Really wish I could save it, but getting tired of him lying to me everyday. Everyday I believe it will get better, that he does love us and want to stay, but as soon as he goes away I become a mess. Still looking for the strength the walk away, but so weak

[WildChild]

This is such a negative situation. You and your little one deserve so much better. It can be hard to believe that the fairy tale hasn't come true, that he isn't going to wake up loving you and treating you right. Think about this. He and the other woman sound like they deserve each other. His famly sounds seriously disfunctional. Why stay in this situation. He wants to eat his cake and have it too and you are letting him. That's ok if you are ok with it, but you aren't.

Your daughter will be fine without him and far happier if her primary parent is happy.
Are you economically dependant?

[BasketCase]

Have you attempted to contact the other mother? Perhaps you should speak with her. Find out the real truth, the whole truth. Because he is telling everybody something different. The man is so wraped up in lies that he prbly doesn't know what the truth is anymore. Get out, this is not healty. The other girls have given great advice. Listen to your heart.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

but then I keep wondering why our marriage was blessed with this beautiful baby girl.

Because, people come into our lives for a reason... when that reason is established, they no longer have to be there for us, as their job is done... You have a gift, a little baby girl... Your daughter...

I don’t want her growing up and living his pain. I try to be very positive in life, even when things go wrong, but he is very negative. He also often says how he hates himself….I don’t want her learning this negativity either. Life is too precious and too short.
I don’t want her growing up seeing and feeling the pain he puts me through.
And I don’t want to walk around with his guilt and anger anymore….it is eating me up inside.

I have the most precious gift and should just focus all my energies on her and shower her with all the love I have to give

.

Amen, re-read and re-read... You have your answers right there.


Sweetheart. You are not a failure because of the fact that he is negative, that he did not have the love that you are blessed with from you parents that you wish to bestow on your baby. You are not a failure because he hates himself, and can not believe enough that he can be someone in life. You are not a failure because this "same type" person, the woman came into his life and he cheated. It's where he feels he belongs, a nobody with a nobody. A negative with a negative..

You have so much more to give, you are a strong, positive women with so much love inside...

Stop focusing on what was, you can not change this man.

Don't focus on he cheated, he's negative, he's weak..

Focus on what you wrote and I highlighted. Your worth... Your baby's worth... You.. Her...

You didn't fail, he did. Now take your little one and show her all the love and happiness in this world, how to be positive, to love and know that you'll actually find someone equal like you as well, when your ready.

You probably thought that you could "help" mould your husband and give him a better life. He's chosen to remain in the life that he knew that he knows.

Time to realise that you can't change the World but you can bring a little one into it and ensure they get all the "right" morals and understanding of life, as can you with someone else in your life one day..

You didn't fail remember that, he did.

Let him go.. You and your baby deserve someone so much better in life...

CW

[English Lady]

Hi, I have responded to your post on my thread! I've been away on holiday for a couple of weeks but would be keen to find out how you are getting on x x