[grrrr]

I don't want this to sound horrible... but we have a "holiday" today (monday) and I woke up an hour and a half early just to be alone.... does that make me a terrible wifey person?

We usually have our "own" morning thing, and he's going to be here... I work from home (as many of you know) - and I just wanted to jump-start my day.... so "my thing" wouldn't change for me - oh, technically I "have the day off" too.... but I really love my DAYS.... working... doing my thing - I don't really want to "share it" - I know it makes me sound horrible.... so I need a semblance of reality from all of you.... am I horrible for doing this?????????????????

I love my day and my schedule.... I don't know if I'm willing to share it, and that makes me sad!

[Mes T]

Girl YOU are what more people in relationships need to be like.

Having our own space, our own "THING" is very healthy, and lets us come back to our partners rejuvenated!

I need my space too, and so does my boyfriend, and that's one reason why I think we'll work well together for a good time to come.

[grrrr]

I always knew that I loved you Mes.... I guess that's why we can co-exist... thank you for not making me feel like a freak... meanwhile, I've had about 7 cups of coffee.... YIKES!


He's still sleeping, and (horribly of me) I hope that "he catches up on sleep" - so that I can watch my regular "stories" --- this sounds so evil.... but as he has his routine, I have mine! Mine starts when he wakes up and I make him breakfast and RUN FOR THE HILLS, he's not a "morning" person, but if I don't make him something healthy to eat, he'll eat nothing - and, I should say, it's something that I enjoy doing.... but I feed him, head for the hills... he goes to work (gives me a hug and a kiss before going) then I have SPACE.... SPACE... SPACE!!!! I love my space! I can't share! After he leaves, I do my work, but have "my morning" --- uuggh, I sound like the shrew that I am! UUGGH!

[grrrr]

I was reading my response... it makes me sound so "lame" and "subservient" - but that's not the case. I don't have to DO anything.... I make him LAME breakfast... as in "here's a bagel and some cream cheese..." "I'll scramble you an egg" (which takes about two minutes) -- he doesn't eat during the day - he has no time to, so if he doesn't eat in the morning, he won't for the whole day..... so I feel ill at ease if he has nothing before he goes to work.... it's not likle he "floggs" me to feed him - he'd rather not have anything!! However, he does thank me everyday for doing so....

I feel like I make him out to be some sort of beast!

[Iseulda]

grrrr - cooking for and feeding the people you love is a beautiful thing. It does not make you sound subservient - it makes you sound loving.

Chill - you are allowed to feel this way. And you're not alone.

[Hopeless Dork]

Oh you are SO normal. I don't even want to TALK to anyone til I've been awake an hour lol. I pretty much just grunt and nod til I've had a couple of cups of coffee!!!

Wanting time to yourself is natural, and healthy! You have to be able to take a holiday for what it is though... and know in advance that your routine is going to be tampered with, and try to roll with it. Its one day :P But don't feel guilty for wanting to have that peace and solitutude to call your own on regular days. Its good for BOTH of you

[stressed]

Nothing wrong with wanting your own half an hour in the morning. I'm like HD, I can't talk or smile to anyone until I've had some coffee and a couple of cigarettes. Thankfully, my SO understands this and doesn't try to be too 'interactive' when I'm just awake, we each just do our own thing even if we are in the same room most of the time.

An idea is to try and connect the moment he wakes up with something pleasant, so that you won't feel he "ruins your 'alone time'". Wake him up with cuddles and kisses, bring him coffee or whatever you usually bring him, it doesn't have to be perfect, but always try to make it something nice both for him and for you. This way you won't want him to sleep more, but you'd feel just as good with him around. You can also make him understand, with a nice discussion, that when you've just woken up you need some "off" time. As if you're not there. Maybe he will understand and not involve you with too many things until you're "up", so he won't be "in the way".

What you feel is very normal, I was there at first too, but with time we've learnt to respect each others' moods, have found tricks to make our mornings easier, don't get into each others' face until we're awake, and always start the day with a kiss and a cup of coffee (although I wish he'd make coffee more often than I do). I'm sure that with time you find what works best for you guys and this will come naturally.

I do get a little bit of the feeling of you thinking "he gets in your way when he wakes up", which is normal, but you just need to find methods to make it all more pleasant, so you won't be stressed about it and still find your "own" time.

[PJhavinfunagain]

You are not a horrible person! You sound like a loving caring partner who realizes she does not want to loose herself.

My DH has been out of work since December and I am so glad for the warm weather so he at least will go out and do Yard work! I feel smothered and have no motivation around the house. Someone is always in my way asking for something. I am VERY independent and I can not wait for him to either get the final offer on the job he is up for or for him to start school. Although school has me nervous too. He will be cranky if he is trying to study and the kids and I distract him.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

GRRRR....

If you want to get somewhere in life, you HAVE to work it... If you feel that by getting up early and working, then taking time out, then working, it's the only way you will get where you want to go.

You have a dream, a goal and YOU will achieve.

Your future "husband" needs to understand you have a dream and a goal and you will forge through to get there....

But, having said that, as I was accused of loving my job more than my husband Which was not true... I always took Sunday's off, had pretty much every night off so you know, what carp is that?

It could be fear on his behalf of where you want to head and what if you make it?

You make time for him, you care about him, you look after him, I assume you do the loving

Be you, never be anyone else, ever.... It's your life and in that, your dreams and in that, your success.

CW

[eleni]

i totally do that!
im such a creature of habit i *need* my me time otherwise i get scratchy and irritated.

you're not horrible! just realistic.
its okay to have *your* thing
as long as its not to the detriment of other people in your life
you carry on
and dont feel bad!

x