[RottieGirl]

I have two stepchildren 21-17 They are very spoiled. They call "daddy" for everything!!! I have been married to their dad for over a year now. He pays their cell phones, car payments, and anything eles the 'princesses" want. We often fight about this. I believe that if they are old enough to have all these things then they should be able to pay for these things. He believes his babies should have the best in life and he will see that is what they get. Does anyone eles feel the way i do??

[jns]

You didn't think this was going to be a problem before you married him? How have things changed from before?

[sourpuss]

Unfortunately, it's his choice to treat his kids how he sees fit. A lot of divorced dads will spoil their kids to make up for the time they don't get to spend with them. Is it affecting your relationship other than the fact that you don't agree with the way he's raising his kids?

[JadedQueen]

A lot of times divorced Dad's try to buy their kid's love out of guilt for not being there as much, or because they want to be seen as the favorite parent. The people I feel bad for are the kids though.... they are getting everything their hearts desire which may be ideal in their eyes.... they are not learning the value of money, how to pay bills, or any type of work ethic and that's really going to hurt them in the future cuz one day the harsh reality of the real world is going to hit them like a ton of bricks.

I don't know of any way you can get your husband to change his way of thinking and stop spoiling them unless you were able to find some kind of documentary about kids that are spoiled and how it had a negative impact on their lives??? Check Dr. Phil he might have something on this topic that could be helpful???

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sorry, personalities, thoughts, morals, standards, wants, desires, are all part of a person.

I agree, you would have seen this before you married and he obviously has a good heart and in addition, he's happy to do this for them.

Why are you fighting over something someone, you supposidly love, married wants to do?

You accepted this before you married him, you can't change a person.

You both have different beliefs, obviously and my guess is that was the case before you married.

Do you have children?

Is he neglecting you?

Is he neglecting your financial needs together?

If the above two are a concern then you have a case.

CW