[DeeMarie]

Hello, I've written in the past about my marriage and how my MIL and SIL interferred regularly. After 5 years of dating and 26 years of marriage, I finally realized the way they were treating me was abusive and I refused to see them anymore, 'taking a break' to consider my future involvement, if any with them. I told my Husband he should continue to have a relationship with them. He never stood up for me when they would cause trouble, he chose instead to ignore it or say it wasn't happening or that I was too sensitive. Well, MIL passed away unexpectedly and husband claims that he didn't see or call his mother as frequently as he would have because of my refusal to see her, and that consequently this 'killed his mother'. He said he isn't sure he wants to stay married because I killed his mother. He has always been a 'momma's boy'. He offered to attend counseling with me, but I refuse to accept this burden of guilt. He never takes responsibility for anything that happens in his life, it's always my fault, no matter what it is. I'm tired of being the whipping post for his family. I attended counseling previously, and all three counselors sided with me that his family behaved improperly toward me. He called the counselors all quacks and refused to make any changes. My 2 kids are in college, one commuting from home. I haven't worked since having the kids, and my skills are non existent for returning to work. I would be happier without him. He is moody and has violent outburts toward me, part of mourning, I know, and partly due to recent heart surgery before his mother's death. I regret ever marrying him. What do I say to him about his claim I killed his mother, and how can I support myself when I leave?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Honey, that's sad reading that.. I am 46 so I am no child either and you know that, a person owns up to themselves in life, no one controls what they do, he can not blame you, it's control, abuse.

Please don't listen to that.. He's probably hurting himself over all the times "he" didn't bother.. He has to blame someone because he can't blame himself, because as you say, he never has, it's always someone else.

Supporting yourself? Take anything cleaning, cooking, dishwasher, does it matter? Your hurt, unhappy and don't belong where you are.

Take care and believe, because it's not your fault.

CW

[WildChild]

Agree with CW, get employed ASAP, take whatever you can to get started and keep looking. A freind of mine was waitressing to help out another freind and she got a ton of job offers (she wasn't looking) You never know what is around the corner.

[Joey]

totally agree. its a heck of a lot easier finding jobs when your actually in a job. Like said above, find anything that you can physically do - at least you will be getting a wage whilst looking else where. The money you earn can then be put towards learning courses - to improve or enhance your skills.