[LanaBear]

And he is still living with her? Sleeping in her bed tonight?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Jeninak...

Wow, how they change their minds but do they really?

Didn't he say that he would live in the same town, but not together... Now he wants another chance... Maybe she doesn't want a child around, after all it's only been a couple of months. Maybe, she's kicked him to the curb or is about to.. and he has no where to go.

Stick to your plans..

If he deserves another chance, he'll continue chasing you after the Divorce, after you've left and you'll have a clear head and be able to ascertain why he wanted that chance, was it because they were getting to a point where it wasn't what he thought. Because you don't want a guy who then jumps onto another woman do you.

CW

[Hopeless Dork]

Perhaps the reality of what he was doing/has done hit him hard in the courtroom. Is this other woman worth his wife and being around his child 24/7? He probably thought and hit him like a ton of bricks.. No she isn't worth it -- but for you... is it worth it to trust this man and down the road whatever logic that let him think this was cool to do last week may lead him to do it again.

You are a human being not a kitchen appliance. He can't just turn you on and off when he so chooses to do so. If you want to work things out do it.... but don't leave yourself hanging at his mercy.

[lushley666]

I would say that you need to get away and be with people who can support you until you decide your future - it sounds like he is trying to keep his options open and is now worrying because he is losing his 'safety net'.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Perhaps the reality of what he was doing/has done hit him hard in the courtroom. Is this other woman worth his wife and being around his child 24/7? He probably thought and hit him like a ton of bricks.. No she isn't worth it -- but for you... is it worth it to trust this man and down the road whatever logic that let him think this was cool to do last week may lead him to do it again.

You are a human being not a kitchen appliance. He can't just turn you on and off when he so chooses to do so. If you want to work things out do it.... but don't leave yourself hanging at his mercy.

That's a good other side of it HD And I love your terminology!!!

CW

[sourpuss]

I would say that you need to get away and be with people who can support you until you decide your future - it sounds like he is trying to keep his options open and is now worrying because he is losing his 'safety net'.

I couldn't agree more. Stick to your plan and stay true to yourself. If he wants to see you and the kid after the divorce, if he really means it, he'll buy a plane ticket to come see you and try to work out a solution.
Don't give in now after one phone call, he hasn't proven anything.

[pretzel]

First off, don't go for split custody. He's living in an environment that is not conducive to your childs well being.

If anything, you demand primary physical custody, set specific standards for visitation. Nothing else will do. Good, he loves his son. Whoopie, so do you but just to be nice to someone who abandoned you your willing to put your life on hold. Sorry, that isn't right.

Move back to where you want to live and start your life over. If he wants to see his son so bad, he'll find the time and money. He'll blame you for all of this, but screw it. He's the one who eff'd up, let him deal with it.

You have your life and your son to worry about, not him.

[Olympia]

I agree to most of the posts,

Another view may be.. Perhaps things became sour for the g.f. when your husband became a live-in and no longer the 'affair'. She had her world and on occation shared with his. Now it is not the same, it became full time. And if that being the case, Your husband looks on what he had/shared with you, and realizes "I am a schmuck". And as HD put it, hit him hard in the courtroom.....

In any case, You and your child are worth far more than to be kept waiting, and isolated from the support and love
you need, the kind that friends and family provide, Unconditionally!!!
You and your child need to be in your thought and actions.