[MissLyss]

Not sure if there's a better place I could put this thread, but...

My boyfriend of 2 years and I have been wanting to move in together for a year, but we're both stuck living at home because of the job market. We both have Bachelor's Degrees, and I have some job experience, but we can find no work within an hour from where we live that could pay bills and support us. We're both really starting to go insane from feeling stuck in the situation.

My question is, would it be reasonable to try to move somewhere where the job market is more promising as a couple, and search for jobs there? To get a place, perhaps with a monthly lease, and see if we can find anything? We talk about the future a lot, kids, etc., and we're very serious about each other. I have a bit of money saved up from a temp job (about 3000 dollars) and he has a bit more than that. Would it be foolish to try? I just don't think I can take being stuck living with my parents with no job prospects much longer.

Thanks for any help!

[LanaBear]

I would job search first and move after. You can both start focusing in the same area where you would be willing to live, when you both are employed then make the move. Even if you end up having to make the drive for a couple of weeks. If you move in somewhere before you are employed, then you are under a big time crunch and it will be stressful. Besides, I'm not sure you'd find many landlords willing to rent to a couple that are unemployed or making a limited income, even if you do have savings.

Start submitting resumes and hopefully getting call backs for interviews from your parents house. I just don't think it wise to move and commit to everyday living expenses with no steady income.

[baja]

Given that neither of you are employed at the moment, it is definitely worth looking elsewhere. Though my advice to you is to preserve your money as best as possible and keep your obligations to a minimum. This means that you should continue to take advantage of your current living situation (i.e. low cost) until you definitively find something. What you don't want to do is leave, get a monthly lease somewhere else, search for work, not find it and be forced to come back home with little to no money left. That would be extremely demoralizing, so try to avoid anything that doesn't amount to finding something and leaving your parents house for good! That's my $0.04

[KMonte85]

Agree with the other two! If the job market is better elsewhere, then you need to start sending resumes and doing interviews in those areas, and once you've landed a job, THEN you move. This is a very normal series of events, and most employers understand that employees will be relocating so the even give time/resources to the new employees to find their new living space and get settled..

don't put the cart before the horse! Job first, relocate second!

[MissLyss]

Thanks so much for all the well thought-out answers. I'll just have to be patient, since not having to pay rent is nice when no money is coming in! Sometimes I just feel like I'm going to lose it and that I'm going nowhere because I'm so stuck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I always believe if you want something so badly, you can and will have it.

And, the only way you can is if you focus, work for it.

So, I agree with the others, you may not get the job you want directly, but apply for everything, don't let it defeat you, apply outside your area as well, don't let it defeat you..

Someone will see the hunger in your application, the desire for that job and employ one of you, and if it's enough to pay the bills, go for it.

Don't want and desire, all new furniture etc, do the op shopping, borrowing, when that time comes... Then as you progress with income, both of you, you can swap that lounge for a new one, etc.


CW

[SaharaJim]

Major trust issues being put to the test here. If you move,,,do you trust the other person to work hard to get a job? Are you willing to pay all the expenses until the other person gets a job? Will you expect them to take any Job..in order to pay bills? Are you willing to take any job...waht if you do an he doesn't? I would waituntil at least one of you has a job...then make an agreement that CLEARLY defines what job the other will get in the new area. tough issue.

[Little]

What are your bachelors' degrees in? How long ago did you get them? And what kind of experience do you have outside of them? College is not a magic job-granter ... unfortunately for all of us who are now paying the bill for it.
Questions you may want to ask yourself but not answer on an anonymous board:
-What about your area makes it hard to find work there? What about a different area would make it simpler? Personally, I live in a poor rural area with very little use for my Spanish BA or even my translation skills. If I moved just 3 hours away to then nearest big city, my ability to find relevant work would increase exponentially. I have an irrelevant full time job with benefits and am okay with that for now.
-What is relevant work to your degree? Would you be willing to take an irrelevant job to pay the bills? Many people are blaming their inability to find work on the economy - I call BS on that. There is work out there, just not necessarily work relevant to their skills. Anyone who cannot find work in retail or food service needs to seriously reconsider their employability. Anyone with a Bachelor's in a teachable field can become a teacher rather simply in the US - contact the education department of your alma mater for information on that. People refuse these jobs for many reasons, but they are there and they are an option if you choose to let them be.
-Can you find a job via the internet? The most stabilizing thing you can do for yourself is secure a job before moving. Ensure you will have income before you go anywhere - $3k will disappear quickly, even in an area with a low cost of living, when you start dealing with rental deposits and moving costs. It cost me over one thousand dollars in deposits to move into the house I currently live in ... I'm in one of the poorest areas of the country with one of the lowest costs of living. There will be a deposit on the house and probably each utility too.
-How strong is your relationship? Are you ready to move in together, in a strange place, after having changed your lives in a major way? The second question gives 3 situations that can crack the foundation of the strongest relationships, and you would be taking all three on at once. Perhaps you could seek separate roommates and lodging for a period of time, maybe 3 months, 6 months, or a year, to allow you time to adjust to the new place and your new jobs before moving in together. Financial dependence (one of you on the other) is very stressful, especially if you both move there together and only one finds a job, as other posters have mentioned.

The short answer for your situation is "no!" But with minor alterations to your idea, you can have a sound plan that can get you not only a job in your field, but your independence and a stronger relationship with your boyfriend.