[jenin_1]

Hi,

My husband who is 36 now drinks excessively, smoke up to 2 plus packets of cigarettes a day (each packet contain 20 cigarettes), does not excise, full of stress which i fail to see what kind of stress are they as everything in his life seem to be going well and worst of all that, does not eat AT ALL. I mean sometimes he can go two days by just having a chocolate bar and some crisps. I sometime gets very angry having thoughts like does he not care of his health? does he not care for his family, does he not want to be around longer. I am 23 years, and currently pregnant with our first child..I have tried everything to cook nice dishes for him etc..they just usually end up in bin. I feel as if sometimes I have a small child in the house who i have to take care of. From his really bad life style i sometime constantly find my self in fear of losing him from some bad fatal disease like cancer god forbid..Its really hard and tiring.

Sorry for the long post..any advice on how to deal with this or what to do about it will be highly appreciated as I am end of my rops and feel extremely sad.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Welcome to the Forum jenin..

I think you need to explain more.. You seem to think everything is alright in his life, there is no stress, he seems to believe there is..

Your pregnant could that be a stress? Was that planned? Are you financially okay? Was he married before, had children?

I ask that as you state he's 36 and your 23, how long have you been married?

It also seems that you had a child before him, before you met. It's not the bad lifestyle you have to be concerned about, rather, why he is feeling that he doesn't want to eat, drinks and smokes and is obviously depressed and un-happy.

Please tell us more so we can advise you of our opinions..

CW

[jenin_1]

Hi,

thank you for the reply.

To answer your questions..For the stress part if there is something bothering him than i have no idea what it is as i cant seem to see anything wrong and when i do ask him (i have ask him many times) he just keeps telling me everything is FINE sometimes even gets angry about it.

Stress from pregnancy i am not sure but i dont think because we wanted this child..we have been married for 7 months now and since day one we have been trying for me to get pregnant so yeah it was planned..Financially i can say we are ok but one thing he is not organised with money AT ALL plus i can say he also have gambling problem which he waste so much of the money there and sometimes expects so much as he always talks about how he will be a millionare and so successful one day (mayb this is whats botherin him?) as in not happy in what money he gets right now which mind you its not bad at all. He was not married before me, no children also..this will be his first.

We have been married for 7 months now..this is also my first child and i have never been married before as well.

I have to agree with you..he seem depressed..extremely depressed in fact but he just don't want to talk about it or anything.

Example for his drinkin problem and the fact he does not care for his health at all, i have confronted him many times (in a polite, loving manner) but everytime i do we just end up fightin.he simply dont want to hear anythn i have to say about his problem and usually get so defensive about it...he will always tell me "i wil not have u or anyone tell me wot to do.i know wot im doing" and just ignores me completely..sometime he wil use that as an excuse of goin out to get wasted untill 5,6 the next morning,mind u that was since 4 pm in the afternoon..i just dontkow wot to do especialy with the baby comin. I feel so lost...If u take out all this he is a really a great, caring man.