[65dazed]

In December I found out my boyfriend of 2 years was visiting porn sites and dating sites and talking to women. They would send him naked pictures of themselves as he was also sendind naked pictures of him. When I confronted him he bacame extremely angry. He exhibited behaviors I had never seen before. He says this is not cheating, just something he does for fun. He promised not to do it anymore. We barely made it thru this. Now in April I find out he is chatting and flirting with a 17 year old girl (hes 41) on a popular website. He says its just kidding around. Whats worse is he is good friends with this girls parents. He says I'm making something out of nothing. I think this is cheating and I need to leave. What is your take on this?

[kaylar]

Let me show you how serious this is...

I know a man who divorced his wife for
carrying on a conversation with a man
she had never met, who lived 1k miles
away.

There was no naked pictures or sex
talk, but this man's wife told this
Other Man things she had never
told her husband.

It is serious.
His reaction proves it is serious.

[Applez]

Yes it is cheating and since he gets upset there is something to all of this!

[kaylar]

That's the kicker...
When a guy gets upset...

I can recall when a woman, totally
innocent, said something to her husband
about 'Sharon' and he went ballistic and
made up a pile of noise...and when the
smoke cleared...
"Your sister, Sharon."
and he calmed and covered and crapped
around...so she knew he was involved
with a woman called Sharon.

[Tater]

Sounds to me like he's got a problem. Are you sure he wasn't doing this sort of thing before you came along and you're just now finding out about it? This isn't something you do for "fun" in my book. If he cared and respected you then he would stop and not get bent out of shape about it. If he's doing it online-what's stopping him from carrying-on when he's not with you? He doesn't sounds like a man you can trust. I would be putting him out to the curb like a bag of trash.

[kaylar]

When a guy starts to defend something it's
pretty clear a whole log is going on.

[charlotte]

cheating on line

it looks to me like he definitely has a problem , men looking at porn can be a serious put down to us let alone on line chat and sending explicit photos . i think i would leave especially after he became aggressive when you confronted him first time .

[TAS]

Hi there,

I know how confused you are. I found a Adult section on our home pc the other day and was intrigued about why my husband had this section. Me being so stupid I thought I am reading to much into the title and so I opened it and was shocked to see quite a few online sex sites. Now I am in a dilema do I say anything or not. And how do I know he isnt "chatting" online to other women as well.

I mean is visiting porn sites the same as cheating?

[kaylar]

Depends on how big the collection of sites is, how often he
visits, how long he spends there.

[TAS]

Hi K,

Well there are only 5 sites in the favorite section. As for the other Q's I can't answer them as I don't know how often he is using them and I don't know how to find out without asking. He used to play a lot of online games or so I thought. Our relationship has been very strained lately and I am not sure I want to agrivate it any more by asking him.

I suppose I will have to at some point.