Also - for most people in a good relationship, sex shouldn't ever feel like a chore. Even if you don't particularly feel like it at the moment, it should still be fun to do something quick for your partner. If you are really too tired / busy / sick, then turning someone down is fine. In general though, I think you should try to do something for them (hands, oral, whatever) so that they don't feel rejected.
This assumes that they are willing to do the same for you. If you are turning down sex because of other problems in the relationship, or because they are selfish lovers, that is a different issue.
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