[stressed]

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[stressed]

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[jns]

Has he always been this way or has he been getting worse? He seems to look at you as mommy and he a little boy.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think its normal to want to care for the one you love when they feel bad, to want to comfort them. When my boyfriend has had a rough day, shoulders aching... I LOVE rubbing his neck and back and making him feel better. When he is sick, keeping him warm and pushing fluids on him and taking care of him comes second nature to me... and I think most women share that nurturing character trait..

But where it leans in to over protection mode is getting involved with his beefs at work. You can encourage him to stand up for himself but it should really stop there, threatning to call them up or to take up for him in any way -- is going to come off very overprotective. He is a man afterall, and though we all know men can be big babies when they are sick or injured... they are still men, and part of what they are raised with in 'being a man' is settling their own scores and not having their mom show up at the school and tell the teacher about the bully... etc..

Its understandable that you are concerned for him, and just instinctively want to stand up for him... but there is a difference between standing up for your guy as in when someones talking him down and taking over and making it seem like he can't do that for himself.

I think caring for him when he's down and out is not overprotective, but that gettting in between his battles at work is probably over steppping the bounds.

[stressed]

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[pretzel]

In a sense, yeah I'd say you're being overprotective and not necessarily in a good way either, sorry.

From all the things you've written about him, he's a mamma's boy who more than likely hasn't had to do much for himself his entire life. There's many life lessons he hasn't learned one of them being able to take care of oneself.

[stressed]

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[Ashlee T.]

I think you're just tired of being his caretaker. Tired of feeling like he won't pull his head out of the fire without your help. I can understand that....... but at the same time, you're finding yourself in an eternal pit of martyrdom because you're enabling him to be the way he is. He's used to you stepping up to the plate, he's used to you making the decisions and taking care of him. He likes it. We all "receive" love in different ways...and maybe you taking care of him and mothering him is the way he wants to receive love. It would drive me absolutely CRAZY if I were you.... but you can't continue to "mother" him if you're going to be resentful for it. Don't get me wrong, like I said, I don't blame you for being tired of it. With some people you give an inch, they take a mile. Taking care of someone when they're legitimately sick or hurt is one thing. But when you're CONSTANTLY having to take care of that person, you become less compassionate in the times they actually do need you. Sort of like the little boy who cried wolf. And understandably so.

I think it's time to sit down and have a talk with him.

[stressed]

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[WildChild]

This sounds like a 10 yr old boy. Emotionally they are recognizing that they are getting too old to have their boo boos kissed but still want fussing over and care part of the time. The rest of the time they want you to praise how big they are getting. Sounds like he is stuck.