[dfrog]

I am 33 years old an have been with my husbamd for 18 years.We have only been married for 5 months.I recently lost my job due to layoff.he never really worked our whole realationship.we have three kids and a grandson on the way.he now is working.before no matter what hours I worked we had sex at least onced a day or he would get mad, when i would complain he would say that its when he dont ask every night that I should worry.now he barley talks to me never want sex treats me like infront of his family .I feel like I dont matter.,when I try to talk to him about it he starts talking about divorce right away.what should i do.im so lonley,and so depressed.

[WildChild]

You've been together since you were 15 and you've been the one working? It sounds like he may be feeling a but peevish because he is finally having to support the household. You need to sit him down and have a talk, clear the air.

[JadedQueen]

I agree with Wildchild. I think finally having to go to work everyday probably isn't something he's fond of and he's probably resenting it which he is taking out on you instead of being thankful that you have been the one to work everyday. It's not fair that he is doing this to you and you should try to talk to him to clear the air. Does he like his job or does he dread going to work everyday? Depending on the type of job that he has he may be exhausted since he isn't used to it and often times exhaustion translates to cranky and or lack of interest.

[dfrog]

He loves his job i think.He likes the people he works with and spends a lot of time with them.Thank you all for your advice.i will try again to talk to him if i see him today.

[sourpuss]

Why hasn't he worked in 18 years?

[dfrog]

He never had to.I always did and he stayed with the kids.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So he was the stay at home Mum.. That's not un-common....

I do think he's a tad selfish though, based on what you are writing.. You'd sometimes not want sex, but he would say quit complaining it's when I don't want it you have something to worry about... Treats you light carp in front of the family and threatens divorce..

Has he always had his way with everything in this relationship? Can you think of nice, sweet things he's done for you? Did he also clean the house and cook whilst you worked?

How has his job do you think effected the home life, outside of sex..?

[Mrs.W]

For some odd reason, men have these ways about them. A little ungrateful I would call it!! Having to work after 18 yrs of not having to work - he has it rough! ha ha ..
I really think an intervention is needed. You need to be firm and find out what the problem is here. Maybe there is an underlying issue that you are unaware of?? He should not belittle you in front of family, it's uncalled for. What may be going on in your relationship shouldn't be advertised for everyone else. I would stick to a heart to heart conversation and search for what the issues could possibly be. There usually is a reason behind everything although sometimes people do it in unfavorable ways. Good Luck! Let us know how you make out.

[dfrog]

I agree he he very selfish.talking doesnt help with him and im about tired of trying.He wants to quit his job now so he dont have to wake up in the morning.I told him i did it for years and for a year of it i did it 12 hours a day 7 days a week.his response was that i didnt work as hard as him.and no he never cooked or cleaned just slept.i always did it all.im not no spring chicken and feel i deserve better.next time he talkes divorce im going to agree and he can move back in with his mommy and sleep all day and not worry bout nothing.im done.

[jns]

Your question should have been "do I still want him". I think you have answered it.